Chatting to a friend recently, she confided her coping mechanism for times of stress or unhappiness. She withdraws to her “White House,” a place of peace, calm and serenity, all shades of white and cream, and also all in her mind!  Now, this sounded wonderful, harmless and totally unthreatening, except for one thing…….this is MY house!!

I was staggered. It really was almost identical to a place I go to in my head when things just get too much on planet earth. That another had built herself a sanctuary in a mirror image of my own started me thinking. I asked other women about how they cope and find this is a common theme; a place of their own, pale, neutral colours, and above all peace and tranquillity.

In my “White House” the fabrics are soft, soothing, warm and comforting. The bedding is crisp, brilliant white and the fire is always glowing.  There is no president in my “White House”, just a first lady.

The colours (or lack of) have to be important. Okay, we are all bombarded with advice on selling our homes and to have a neutral, inoffensive pallet, but I think this is more significant. I believe our “White Houses” represent an emotionally neutral environment, allowing us time and space to decide how we feel about the different stressors in our hectic lives. All very harmless and a valuable breathing space. Yes……… and no.

What happens when our sanctuary becomes more than that? What happens when it becomes our alternative reality, and instead of allowing us some quiet time, mentally, it, in fact, allows us to emotionally to detach from our lives, our husbands/partners and children?  Where is the line the line in the sand?

I’m not trying to repossess any of your lovely, alternative homes here, merely that they come with a warning. Don’t overstay your welcome!