Do you remember that phrase from that really annoying TV quiz? Well I do, but I want to talk about it with a slightly different twist.You know, you’re upset about something or someone and you think to yourself, “If I go quiet then they will notice and realise I am unhappy and ask me why and tease it out of me and then comfort me and make me feel better.” In your dreams, and just for the record, somebody else’ nightmare! Life is not the movies! You don’t stand, enigmatically, looking out of the window, whilst clutching at the silk drapes, a lace hanky dabbing at your nose and then have the hero somehow read your mind, come over to you, putting a strong arm around you and tell you everything will be all right. REAL LIFE = You standing looking out of the window while the “hero” shouts, “Where are my underpants?” His version of reading your mind? ” She’s being a moody bitch again.” Sorry men; cheap shot; true, but cheap! Anyway, this isn’t really about male vs female. It’s about us all. None of us have the time or energy to figure out what’s going on in the mind of those around us. If you’re anything like me, I can’t even figure out my own mind. So, when we are faced with someone being quiet, withdrawn, not speaking to us, we don’t immediately think, ” Oh, maybe X has happened and she/he needs me to do Y.” Do we bollocks! No! We think, ” There they go, being a moody cow/git again.” We Say What We See. So ask; ask for help or understanding, whatever it is you need. When people find out your “mood” is not their fault they are usually very relieved and happy to console or listen; but ask. Give others their comfort zones and you may be amazed with what you get in return.
1 thought on “Say What You See!”
You have touched on something very important here. How many times have we felt a bit let down by someone from whom we expected support, or a more engaged reaction to a situation that concerns us? Equally, how many times have we found ourselves wanting to say to someone, ‘do you think I am a mind reader? If you had just asked me, of course I would have done that ‘ In both situations a lack of communication is the problem.
The best approach has to be for us to know and accept two basic things: that no-one else can read our mind (and a good thing too!!), and if we need help, ask for it. In my experience, if I have a problem and I ask an appropriate person for help, advice or just to chew the fat, they almost always respond favourably. In fact, they are generally pleased to have been asked. And, thinking about it, they are the sort of people who would never butt in or interfere. So, JUST ASK.
Taking it a step further, is this not what prayer is about? Regardless of who you are praying to, prayer does a couple of things. First it allows us to gather our thoughts and to hear ourselves sort through the issue. Second, in so doing, in a lot of instances, it allows answers, God sent, or simply answers already within ourselves, to quietly come to the fore.
So, I would definitely say, if we are feeling a bit low, dejected or in need of advice, don’t hesitate to say a little prayer and talk to a trusted friend – the combination can bring remarkable results.
And being mindful of prayers answered helps us to see, and feel, how truly blessed we are.