Category Archives: Christmas Gifts

Reluctantly, 50 Shades..

I say reluctant because I am sick to death of all the nonesense around the books and the bloody film, but I have just read something that made me actually cry laughing. Wait for it…
Madonna, no less, has no intention of watching the movie as she thought the book,
“so unrealistic” and “not very sexy”. Pllllleeaaassssse..

You have got to know why she thinks its unrealistic too!

It’s not the fact that this guy is a billionaire and gorgeous and hurts the heroine just enough to turn her on( and not enough to injure her) and that really, he is in love with her and it all ends happily ever after. Not at all…. excuse me but I’m laughing again.. ahem, gather yourself girl.

No, it’s because she reckons, “This is so unrealistic because no guy goes down on a girl that much.”

Yeah Madonna, THAT’S the unrealsitic bit!

Dear God, who is this bloody woman.

Any Sign of Christmas With You?

Having a lovely chat with a friend of mine to-day, as we both waited at a mutual customers premises. She was joined by a male colleague and we got to chatting about buying Christmas presents for partners/spouses.

He commented that in 12 years of marriage he has never been able to buy his wife a gift that she has appreciated. In fact she tells them they are terrible gifts ( and that’s the polite version). Last year he paid for himself, his wife and their child to go to Disneyland on holiday and, yes, he did admit that he had really wanted this holiday a lot too. This did not go down well.

I asked him how he felt about buying presents for his wife now and he agreed that he accepted it was never going to be “right” so he just bought something he will enjoy as well. Mmmm, I thought.

It reminded me of a VERY quiet Christmas in our house; the Christmas my husband bought me a set of mats for my car,…..apologies, TAILORED mats for my car. I wondered for the few days before Christmas day what he could possibly have wrapped in such a big, flat package. Funnily enough, car mats were not top of the bloody list!

As the QUIET day wore on and , bless him, his genuine confusion as to my lack of enthusiasm continued, he suddenly remembered another “little something” he had bought me. As he passed me the gift he smiled, ” Sorry love, I forgot about this.”

“Ohhhh, thank God,” I thought. ” He does love me.”

It was a tin of touch-up spray paint for the car !! Seriously.

This is a “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus” moment and he still, some fifteen years later, does not see why I didn’t love this gift. So do you know what?? As he loved the idea of this sooooo much I think I know what he’s getting for Christmas this year.