I’m talking about the 1989 movie of course and I forget, every now and again, just how much of an impression it left on me all those years ago. I have a habit of repeating the famous “Build it and he will come” line when faced with a challenge that requires a leap of faith, becoming a mantra for me.
I have just watched it again and it never fails to leave me with tears streaming down my face, but much more importantly, it leaves me with a great sense of peace and a renewed desire to chase my own dreams, to believe that, with enough self-belief, anything is possible; even finding peace with the loss of those you love most.
This movie should be required viewing for anyone living too much in the harshness of reality, having banished their childhood dreams to the long and distant past and closed off their heart to hope.
And, on a more earthly note, a very sweet looking Kevin Costner, the dazzling eyes of Ray Liotta and the honey-rich tones of James Earl Jones do no harm either!
I was listening to the radio and, just in case some of you have been on the moon for the last week or so, guess what; they were talking about love letters, Valentine’s Day etc blah, blah.
The guy then started discussing how Johnny Cash’s love letter to his wife has just been voted the most romantic love letter of all time. Now I dislike these kind of “Top 10” things a lot. It is all so subjective and with this topic, even more so. Having read the letter I think it certainly is beautiful, but also very easy for a lot of people to relate to. However I would question it coming out above Keats for example; but that’s just my opinion.
What DID make me laugh and stare at the radio however was the DJ’s next line. Here goes, almost verbatim,
“Well his( Johnny Cash) letter obviously came from the heart, but if we are sending a person a love letter should we write what is in our hearts?”
I stared for a moment, then thought “Que?”
Was he trying to provoke? Was this more profound than my poor brain cells could cope with?
I listened on. No. He was actually just blowing it out his ass!
Most of us can barely manage a text nowadays. We send e-cards rather than write and post the old card varieties. So, if you sit down with pen and paper to commit your feelings for someone you love to “hard copy”, are you going to expend that energy on some half-hearted, meaningless and trite collection of words? I doubt it.
The words should be a personal reflection of what that someone special means to you and there is only one place that stuff comes from, the heart.
I have written many times about my wonderful friends, or my extended family as I consider them. So, it is with a very heavy heart that I now write about a friendship that has waned after many years and many hurdles to overcome.
Funny, but the times of hurdles and shared stressors were a breeze compared with, what should be, a more peaceful time; a time to share a few of the things we had hoped for through all the years. But, maybe that’s the point; perhaps that was all we ever had in common.
There has been no falling out, no arguments; just a distance and a sense of being in the company of a stranger. I embrace that our personalities keep on changing, evolving and, perhaps, by the time we kick the bucket we have become more of the person we hoped to be, but, inevitably I suppose, some of our friendships will not last the course. There is no right or wrong, just different.
But it is sad, and I miss my old friend, terribly.
However, this is where loving someone comes in. Whether or not we see much of each other, or agree with each other, or share the same problems any more; if she needed me, any time, any place, I would be there.
True friends may move in and out of your life, but they will stay in your heart forever.
I was watching a programme on TV last week where they talked to one of the first women to use the, then new, legislation to prosecute for sexual harassment in the workplace. She was a very brave woman and her life was made a living hell during the process. At the end the interviewer asked her if she thought we were in a better place to-day. Her answer did not surprise me. As far as she could see the sexism and harassment is still as prevalent, but is now harder to prove as it is not so overt; slipping under the radar of regulation.
I started to think about those other lovely “isms”; racism, sectarianism and so on. Are we any better now than, say, the 1970’s, any more enlightened? I believe we should certainly know more about each others cultures, but apparently it does not necessarily follow that this leads to more tolerance.
Coming from a country where some used to claimed a legitimacy for murder because of religion, I believe it has changed, to an extent, but it will take a lot more than signatures on pieces of paper to remove the biases and bigotry of generations. Turn on the news at any time to see the evidence of this.
There are wonderful and inspirational examples of enlightenment within working environments and communities out there, but is this because of changes in law, or because of good people doing what good people have always done?
Maybe we are looking at a “Darwin-esque” scale of evolution before we can look at each other as human beings first, sex, colour, creed coming way, way after.
I’m laughing now thinking of Star Trek, Star Wars etc. Holy shit! How long did it take them to become so comfy with planetary aliens??
I have talked so many times about searching for a state of grace, of peace with my lot.
Now I know what it looks like. Please check this out because this man is truly inspirational.