Taken from a report on the Dominique Strauss-Kahn trial.
“His lawyer, Henri Leclerc, said at the time: “In these circumstances one isn’t always clothed, and I challenge you to tell the difference between a prostitute naked and any other woman naked.”
Now maybe I’m a bit slow here but hasn’t one lot of these women normally emptied your wallet before getting naked?
And before my husband makes any smart-assed comment on this,
“What’s yours is mine darling…or was anyway”
I am actually loathe to comment on this for fear of giving the oxygen of publicity to these women but I’m so mad I have to sound off.
So “Femen” have demonstrated as Dominique Strauss-Kahn goes into court on charges of “aggravated pimping.” And how did they do this? By putting forward a well thought out press release? Highlighting other examples of this kind of behaviour or similar abuses of women?
No!! They got their tits out!!! Oh, sorry, I nearly forgot; with flowers in their hair!
I went on to their website in a useless attempt to find ANY kind of reasoning behind this but as far as I can see this is a bloody ego trip for a bunch of stupid……TITS!
They claim as their goal ” Complete victory over patriarchy.” Really?
Well put your kit on again, look at what is really going on out there and stop taking the easy option!
Be very thankful I’m not singing this to you; I couldn’t carry a note in a bucket, honestly!
Earlier on this evening a friend advised me to think about what it is I really want from life and for myself, and to then focus on how I achieve these goals. I started to sound like a beauty pageant contestant with my trite answers of happiness, world peace etc, and when I got down to it I could not be more specific.
“Then you are lost” my friend said.
I was quiet for a moment. “Perhaps you are right,” I said.
Because seriously, whilst I can think of a lot of things I do NOT want, I have big problems in identfying positive goals, of having the strength of mind (and nerves) to state the case for my own destiny.
And I know why too; FEAR. Apathy as well.
Fear because it will not suit some of those that depend on me to be there for them and apathy in taking on that battle.
Cutting myself some slack, I know I am getting over ( very slowly) a bad flu and feeling physically very low, but it has certainly got me thinking. I hadn’t actually realised that any positive feelings I had, held the benefit and happiness of others at the core and that my own well being was a spin-off from that. That is not noble. People do not appreciate it and really, why should they?
Again I am reminded of my good friend, quoting a well-known, but little understood, passage from the bible.
“Love thy neighbour, as you would love thyself.”
If you have problems with the love bit try replacing it with “value”; whatever works for you. But until any of us can value/love/appreciate who we are how can we hope to extend that love to others in a healthy way, without sacrificing our own hopes and dreams?
Answers on a postcard to……………..
This has never been one of my strong points. I eat chocolate to the point of feeling sick, buy shoes and hand-bags to the point of having nowhere to store (hide) them and have similar failings with skin care and make-up. The concept of enough with these kinds of weaknesses is unfamiliar to me.
People, however, are a different matter. I am fast approaching my “enough” point with some people. Rudeness, selfishness and a constant glass-half-empty outlook means they suck the life and joy from your day. Okay I understand that no-one is constantly cheerful, but I fear some appear to be constantly miserable.
It worries me. Not about the miserable buggers themselves; that is their choice. What worries me is my tolerance of them. I can’t be bothered with pretending any more. I just want to walk away: not from good friends having an off day of course, but from badly behaved, inconsiderate grumps, yes, I want to run, and keep on running.
I try not to let the intolerance show on my face, but that isn’t one of my strong points either. As I get older my interest in this kind of “gloss” on how I feel doesn’t weigh as heavily as it used to. But I dislike rows, show-downs or other public displays of aggression, so I walk away.
When I have had enough I walk away and find, happily, I am really okay with spending time on my own. I’m not afraid of being alone anymore. I spend time indulging my foibles, the way I used to indulge others. I read books, watch the TV programmes and movies others hate and generally spend time as I wish without fear of criticism.
And, when I’ve had enough of that, I will give people another try.
I have written many times about my wonderful friends, or my extended family as I consider them. So, it is with a very heavy heart that I now write about a friendship that has waned after many years and many hurdles to overcome.
Funny, but the times of hurdles and shared stressors were a breeze compared with, what should be, a more peaceful time; a time to share a few of the things we had hoped for through all the years. But, maybe that’s the point; perhaps that was all we ever had in common.
There has been no falling out, no arguments; just a distance and a sense of being in the company of a stranger. I embrace that our personalities keep on changing, evolving and, perhaps, by the time we kick the bucket we have become more of the person we hoped to be, but, inevitably I suppose, some of our friendships will not last the course. There is no right or wrong, just different.
But it is sad, and I miss my old friend, terribly.
However, this is where loving someone comes in. Whether or not we see much of each other, or agree with each other, or share the same problems any more; if she needed me, any time, any place, I would be there.
True friends may move in and out of your life, but they will stay in your heart forever.
I am the first to say I don’t go for this type of thing, but honestly, this is so worth watching. Actually it gets off to a shaky start and Amy seems to be suffering from dry mouth( stress perhaps), which I found odd as the message was about confidence and how we communicate that to others. But stay with it.
Amy goes on to share a very personal experience, something I found very moving and I judged her to be completely sincere in everything she said. The audience believed her too and responded very positively to her generosity of spirit.
I have heard parts of this discussion before and agree that the act of smiling is one of the most simple and effective things we can do to relieve stress and lift our mood. And completely free! That’s the kind of therapy I like.
Be careful when you practice this though. I was in a real stinker of a mood one morning on my way into work, getting worse by the minute as I sat, stuck in traffic. I remembered about the ” Just Smile” idea and wanted to shift my mood before affecting anyone else so, with a great deal of effort, I put on my favourite “happy” music and pulled my mouth up from my boots, into my biggest, bestest smile….. And scared seven shades of daylight out of the guy in the car beside me! I think he reckoned I had lost the plot and was about to carry out some kind of mayhem. Oh well, you can’t win them all.
Anyway, like I say, I really think this is worth your time and I would love to know if you agree.
It’s love of course! Perhaps it should carry a health warning.
In my youth I had no selection process at all, I just loved without question and suffered the consequences, the hurt, when it came along. As I get older I have become aware of keeping the “essence” of me, my soul, safe in my relationships with others. But how can I love with the “safety” on?
Am I now going through life carrying out risk assessments before I decide to invest in loving someone or not? And for those I already love, am I taking a part of me back; holding it in safe-keeping?
Well, I still do love, very much, but with different levels of expectation. I love now in a simultaneously selfish and selfless way; selfish in that I give what I can of me, and selfless in that I give it without demand for anything in return.
The all or nothing approach to love is too exhausting and yet too limiting to be sustainable, and laden with disappointment.
I am thankfully long past the naive love of my teenage years, where I imagined all kinds of perfection in those I handed my heart to, and thank God. What a recipe for disaster. Now, I take people for what they( we) are, flawed human beings; and if those flaws are ones I can cope with, and the positive in them offsets any negative aspects, then great.
I haven’t dropped my standards. I just love those I do in a “perfectly” accepting and embracing way.
Oh, sorry, I think I’ve missed the boat a bit. It’s just with all the talk of the snow we are due to get I think I’ve regressed a month.
Folk in America have been warned to stay indoors, avoid unnecessary travel, stock up on basic provisions etc, etc. So it’s time to pull up the drawbridge for the next week or so for them.
The UK is due to get more than usual snow, nowhere near as much as America, but still, enough to cause some disruption. And so the moaning and complaining is rife.
If this was all happening in the run up to Christmas would we deal with it differently? Wouldn’t we reckon it came with the territory and just add it to the list of things to cope with.
But, come January, the tinsel is long gone, the credit card bills are in and we watch for the stretch in the days with bated breath. We are done with winter and just long for the suns warmth on our skin again. Our patience with nature is wearing thin.
Sadly we spend our time living for the highlights, the holidays, birthdays, Christmas, whatever; so much so that, to an extent, we become irritated with the in between bits. But that’s where the majority of all our lives happens.
I’m watching the snow fall now and loving the fact it makes my tatty, untidy garden look so pretty. If it slows down my travel tomorrow it will give me more time to notice the journey.
And when the snow is long gone I hope that effect stays. Enjoy your journey.
I have been watching with interest the controversy over the response from the western world to the death of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. The idea of Louise Mensch tweeting that Cameron should “Fuck off” initially made me laugh, but then rankled, going back again to the knee jerk reaction that benefits no-one and just gets people’s names in the headlines once more.
I agree Saudi Arabia has a very long way to go on equal rights for women, but 2015 is the first time women there will not only be able to vote, but to stand for election as well. It’s not everything, but it is a start. The recently deceased King Abdullah paved the way for this back in 2011.
Changing the ideology and way of life of centuries will not happen overnight in Saudi Arabia; any more than it did here. We are very quick to condemn the speed of change in other countries, but I would love to understand the reason behind the still howling gaps in career opportunities between men and women right here, right now.
In the past I have backed off from ever considering myself a “feminist”; being so sick of some of the nonsense associated with it. However I looked up the definition of the word earlier and realise it is a completely morally decent aspiration and one I am happy to identify with.
“Quel surprise” to all of you that know me! ( I don’t think).
Do you ever feel like throwing a wobbly; you know, the spoilt brat kind of leg-kicking, fist-banging, need-a-kick-in-the-ass kind of wobbly??
God, I don’t think I even have the energy for that right now, but inside I feel it. Inside I feel so frustrated with life, with everything. And funnily enough, when you feel like that nothing comes out right. That frustration comes through your words, your body language and the rest!
I feel so tired. I’m tired of not being able to fix the terrible things that are happening to too many of my family and friends. Grief and sadness and worry are flowing down over those I love and cherish. All I have been able to do is listen.
So I go back to the beginning.
I do my very best impression of Pollyanna and remember ALL of the many people and things I have to be “Glad” for, and I feel my world righting itself once more.
With the best will in the world no-one can “fix” anyone else, and so many times in my life I would have given anything for someone to listen to me, without judgement or scorn.
So, onwards and upwards. Carry on MacDuff!
thefellowshipofthevagina 