Tag Archives: challenges

Seeing Is Believing….

Easy Living, Life Stressors, Media, Our World, , , , ,

And enjoying, and laughing and crying and hugging and touching.

A friend has just posted a video on Facebook highlighting something I have discussed before, but feel it needs saying again and again.

100’s+ “friends” on Facebook does not an embrace or belly-laugh or memory bank deposit make!

It should be a supplement to our friendships, not the soul source or mainstay of them.

I had a brilliant non-shopping, shopping day( yes that was deliberate) with a friend of mine yesterday and we laughed again at the days out we have had in the past with her sister; experiences I will recall with warmth and pleasure to the day I die. I want many, many more days like this; many more good memories to fall back on when things get tough.

Okay, we all have busy lives, but busy doing what?

Get your priorities right!

Get off your ass and get out to SEE your friends, your family, feel the air around you and pause long enough to let it sink in, re-charging your spirit with the joy it can be to be alive.

Teeny Weeny Talk

Calm and Relaxation, Easy Living, Kind Thoughts, Media, , , , ,

I was just reading an article on small talk and the article’s author “David Roberts. vox.com” describes how he really hates it. Perhaps it’s a male/female thing, but I can usually manage the hairdresser/nail technician/beauty parlour stuff; “Any holidays planned?” “Going out anywhere at the weekend?” kind of thing. I feel quite sorry for them having to listen to some of the crap to be honest.

What I don’t get, and completely boils my brain, is the minutiae, that stuff that is so small and insignificant most folk don’t even notice they do it, the teeny, tiny stuff, being broadcast to the world at such a relentless pace and seemingly without end!!

And before you go there , don’t blame it all on the kids of to-day. I have seen men and women, young, middle-aged and old enough to know better, battering away on their keyboards, telling the world and it’s mother how they have just cleaned their teeth, brushed their hair, emptied the bin, put the dinner on……blah, blah, blah.

Okay, okay, I’m a bitch!! What harm are they doing? Leave the poor souls alone, I hear you say.

Well, you see, my point is this; if they put the keyboard down and looked outside of themselves and their immediate vicinity for just a moment or three, they may well find something of genuine interest to them, something rewarding, something that may help fill that void in their lives that drives them to record the dross and miss out the big stuff, their lives, passing them by.

Remember that well-known saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”?

Well, don’t record it either!

And Finally…….

Calm and Relaxation, Easy Living, Health, Our World, ,

Just reading an article that explains how the rising temperatures in Australia are causing genetically male bearded dragon lizards to be born female.

Oooh, poor things and yes, I do understand this has serious implications, although the article goes on to say that these sex-reversed lizards can go on to reproduce, and even have more offspring than their genetically female counterparts.

Thing is, the previous news report tells us how Scotland could be in for a ground frost tomorrow morning and even some wet snow or sleet in some areas.

So get the thermals out again guys or the bearded dragons might not be the only species changing from male to female.

Aaah, the great British summer.

Mmmm, I Wonder…

Easy Living, Kind Thoughts, Mental Cruelty, ,

I wonder if anyone actually enjoys spending time around those who wear their negativity loud and proud, who feel the rest of us owe it to them to bolster their self-esteem and “make them happy.”( as if ). How delusional do you have to be not to notice people recoil, break off conversation when you approach or wait until you are not quite out of earshot before uttering,

“What is it with her?”

Yes, it takes all sorts and around Christmas time I wrote a blog called “You get more with sugar than with salt,” where I talked about a man I had worked for in the not so distant past. He believed (and still does) that you get far more from folk by treating them fairly and with respect, a viewpoint I completely agree with and which contributed to such a positive working environment that going to work became a real pleasure. He gave off positive energy (most of the time) and usually got positive back.

Now, I would never pretend to be a modern-day Pollyanna, permanently cheerful and constantly “glad” about life, as you will see from my earlier blog in fact. But I have to wonder, as I said, about some of the joyless, life-sucking and toxic individuals I have encountered lately and what drives their mind-set.

I would love to think you could hold up a mirror to these folk, a mirror with the power to reflect back upon them all that they normally cast outwards, that they could then see and learn and understand.

Is it ever too late? Is it a learned behaviour or are some just born this way?

It may be loneliness, unhappiness, bitterness or disappointment. Who knows. Sadly it usually ends up, “Who cares”. I suppose our response depends heavily on our connection to them.

At what point, when I would find myself alone, without a friend or family, would I wonder,

“Was it something I said?”

Giving It Up.

Calm and Relaxation, Easy Living, harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , , , ,

I have read so many self-help books, listened to so many experts and attended so many seminars, all aimed at helping us give up the struggle, the stress and the negative thoughts and behaviour that marks our lives.

And I get it! Honestly, I do. Let’s face it, the vast majority of it is plain, good old common sense.

But, what it is NOT, is easy; hence the enormous quantity and re-hashing of similar information.

But, no-body said it would, or should, be.

What it is, is worth it.

Each time I hand over a particular stressor to my life’s path, I gain a relief and sense of peace I would not swap for any amount of money or possession.

I am where I am supposed to be, for whatever reason, and I will find happiness here and now.

I have lived with more stuff, more money, more ego, more fear, more stress.

Giving up the fear of losing something you never “owned” in the first place is liberating, and underlines that well-known saying,

“Less is more.”

Everyday “Heroes”

Easy Living, Heroes, Kind Thoughts, Our World, , , , , , , , ,

I know, I’m thinking of David Bowie too.

But funnily enough this is not about him. It’s about the everyday people who made me start writing this blog in the first place and some who, in the last twenty-four hours, came back into my life and reminded me of the people that made me want to write..

I want to tell you about SBM. (She’ll know who she is)

I met her in hospital. My daughter was very sick and I was spending a lot of time just sitting at her bedside, feeling as much use as a chocolate teapot and thinking, ” Why my girl, why her”.

The nurse asked me to leave as visiting was long over. Reluctantly I stood up just as a voice called over, “Don’t worry about her. I’ll watch over her for you. She’ll be okay.”

I looked across to a bed and a woman who was far from well, very far.She had more tubes and monitors around her than you could shake a stick at. She could see the doubt in my face.

” I can call a nurse if she needs one, don’t worry, and I will watch her for you.”

I believed she would and I left with more comfort than I had dared hope for.

Over the following week I got to know SBM and some of her wonderful family; all very ordinary folk, but all coping with a high level of ongoing, grinding stress that left me breathless. And how they coped?

With laughter, generosity of spirit and an open, embracing love for others. This woman is no shrinking violet and has a sense of humour that could raise a laugh in an empty room. Many times I would have been begging her to stop, my sides aching and the tears running down my face, I was laughing so much.

The thing is, if you heard her story, if you understood her circumstances and the awful loss she has suffered and ill-health she endures, you could forgive her for wanting to lock herself away and wallow in self-pity. But not a bit of it!

She raises money for charities ( having her head shaved for one when sitting upright even hurt), comforts others in times of stress and for me, well, when I couldn’t be at my daughters bedside she was, and I knew it. I will never be able to repay that peace of mind.

And there are others like SBM out there, quietly giving out such positive energy to those around them and, in my eyes, earning the title of “Hero”.

And here she goes again, popping up in my “Inbox” last night, reminding me what life, love and happinesss should be about.

Thank you.

Heroes

Heroes, , , , , , ,

The stories of heroism are starting to filter through now from the horror in Tunisia at the weekend and they are breathtaking and poignant. And so, so heartbreaking.

Their acts were spontaneous and selfless and none believed, when booking their holiday in the sun, the label “hero” would soon be attached to them.

Heroism takes many forms but this is the one I am sure no-one wishes to be tested on; the instant, life or death form, the one that over-rides your fear and your instinct for self-preservation.

For the survivors of this, and the countless other atrocities and disasters around the world, comes the next challenge; to survive being a survivor; a heroism in its own right.

Bad News Days !

Media, Our World, Terrorism, , ,

As one bad news story piles on top of another, from every corner of the world, it is easy to give into despair for plight of human-kind.

After listening to the reports of the mass shooting in Tunisia something starts to pierce my shock and horror at this latest demonstration of man’s ability to inflict murder and mayhem on their fellow-man.

The constant reference to “Brits among the dead”, “?? British dead out of 37”; STOP , please!

Of course I understand that for a locally reporting news organisation company the local take is important, but for news companies reporting world-wide can we accept that each one of those 37 people counts. Each one had their own back story, family, friends and hopes and dreams; part of which was getting away for a while to lie on a beach and forget the stresses of life.

Anyone I speak to is aware these random acts of terrorism can happen anywhere, anytime. It is a global issue, affecting every race and religion ( or lack of), every sexual orientation and every age group.

The problem belongs to all of us and so do its victims.

I’m Confused

Health, Law & Order, Life Stressors, Media, Our World, , , ,

I’m reading an article in “The Telegraph” about the Canadian court that has ordered British American Tobacco to pay £5.5bn to one million smokers who are either unable to stop smoking or are now suffering from throat or lung cancer, or emphysema.

“The plaintiffs argued that the companies neglected to properly warn their customers about the dangers of smoking, and failed in their general duty “not to cause injury to another person”, according to the Quebec Superior Court.”

The article points out these actions were originally lodged in 1998 but only went to court recently.

Let me first of all say I am very sorry for anyone suffering from any of the above illnesses, but…… I am genuinely at a loss as to who would NOT have been aware of the links to cancer with smoking , or of the other dangers from this habit.

I am fifty-one and have always been told, since a very young age, to never start smoking and the issues around it. My father was a very heavy smoker and, long before I was born, wound up in hospital with breathing difficulties. The doctor told him then, in the 1950’s, either he quit smoking or his lungs would pack in within six months.

For people of my parents’ generation I can understand, folk now in their 80’s and 90’s, and perhaps some in their 70’s. But younger than that; how could anyone be unaware?

Back in the day, before the links to cancer were confirmed, smoking was promoted as a glamorous and sophisticated pastime with Hollywood leading the way; the images of its movie stars, cigarette in hand and a halo of smoke surrounding them, being the de-rigeur.

In my younger days I used to enjoy the odd cigarette myself, usually on a night out and having had a few drinks. But it was always one bad habit I knew I could never take up. There were just too many scare stories, too much evidence of the dangers, to justify the imagined benefits.

But my confusion continues on the point, “failed in their general duty, “not to cause injury to another person.”

If this is the case then why are cigarettes still being sold? Are the fast food giants going to be charged with this? Are the companies producing and selling alcohol going to be charged with this?

I do not smoke and I am no supporter of B.A.T or any other tobacco company, but every time I eat a burger, a bar of chocolate or drink a vodka and lime, I am absolutely aware of the health implications in continuing to be overweight and taking substances into my body with the potential to do me harm. This is my responsibility and I am not about to sue the various companies for my life choices.

It is all a game of russian roulette, but it’s my finger on the trigger for me.

I Love You Harriette Thompson !!

Charity, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , ,

I love this woman, even though all my excuses for not getting off my backside were blown away as the news reports of her crossing the line on her latest marathon were flashed up on the TV screen.

Not only is she 91 ( or 92 depending on which report you listen to) but she has survived cancer and did not start running until she was 76 years old.

Technically, I could wait another 24 years before starting a whole other aspect of my life! Wow, what an amazing notion.

She is bright, generous and self-effacing; a true inspiration, but I suspect she might tell me not to wait until I am 76. I think she might tell me to do something, anything, now.

Whatever she might say, I love you Harriette.