All posts by boogie53

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About boogie53

I am a hard-working human being of the female variety. Okay, I am also married, have children ( 3 of them) and I work for a distribution company. But more than a wife , mother or employee, I am a kind and caring individual who, now in my 50's, is hoping to make some sense of what I see about me.

Own Goals Ladies..Please !

Our World, women, ,

I was watching two people review the papers this morning on TV, as I got ready for work, and my heart sank.

The woman, calling herself a “feminist”,  started discussing an article from one of the tabloids with a reference to sexism and, as she became more and more annoyed by the topic, she turned on the man beside her, who was actually agreeing with the sentiment of her argument. Her rants and rhetoric did absolutely nothing to advance the cause of “Equality for Women”; a very noble and just cause that a lot of people (women AND men) have worked so hard for over the years.

I appreciate this is a deeply emotive subject, but I do not find it any more acceptable to listen to a woman berate a man for all the ills of the world, as if he were personally responsible, than if the “Louboutin” were on the other foot.(Am I being sexist there??)

Please, please stop distracting from the fundamental objective of “Equality”, not tokenism, not quotas of “Female Board Members”, and certainly not blaming every man to-day for an environment that has come about over thousands of years.

I fear for the ” Women’s Movement” of yesteryear. The waters seem so muddied with a myriad of confusing messages and images for young women now; their focus and energy taken up with silly side issues and a lot of guff, while the same old injustices still go on, unchecked.

We still have a very long way to go to achieve true equality, where we are ALL judged on our ability to do the job and not on whether we have a penis or a vagina.

Just How Far Have We Come?

harrassment, Our World, Special People

I was watching a programme on TV last week where they talked to one of the first women to use the, then new, legislation to prosecute for sexual harassment in the workplace. She was a very brave woman and her life was made a living hell during the process. At the end the interviewer asked her if she thought we were in a better place to-day. Her answer did not surprise me. As far as she could see the sexism and harassment is still as prevalent, but is now harder to prove as it is not so overt; slipping under the radar of regulation.

I started to think about those other lovely “isms”; racism, sectarianism and so on. Are we any better now than, say, the 1970’s, any more enlightened? I believe we should certainly know more about each others cultures, but apparently it does not necessarily follow that this leads to more tolerance.

Coming from a country where some used to claimed a legitimacy for murder because of religion, I believe it has changed, to an extent, but it will take a lot more than signatures on pieces of paper to remove the biases and bigotry of generations. Turn on the news at any time to see the evidence of this.

There are wonderful and inspirational examples of enlightenment within working environments and communities out there, but is this because of changes in law, or because of good people doing what good people have always done?

Maybe we are looking at a “Darwin-esque” scale of evolution before we can look at each other as human beings first, sex, colour, creed coming way, way after.

I’m laughing now thinking of Star Trek, Star Wars etc. Holy shit! How long did it take them to become so comfy with planetary aliens??

Count Your Blessings

Kind Thoughts,

When anyone says this to me they usually then start to list off a load of stuff like having a job, a roof over your head etc,etc. This is all fine and I agree, they are important.

However I start with my friends, and I have an abundance of blessings here.

It was my turn very recently to hit some tough times and, Thank God, there they were; spiritually placing their arms around me, comforting and supporting me until I had the strength of mind and will to get back up again. If the quality of my friends equals wealth then I am rich beyond compare.

Good people are thankfully not that hard to come by, but good friends are life’s treasures; their love, support and shared memories beyond any price.

I send my love and appreciation to you all. xx

Touching The Bottom….

Life Stressors, , ,

No, not that bottom!

A massively stress-inducing factor in life is uncertainty; of looking into that black pool and wondering where the bottom is.

Uncertainty seems to take away our options. We can’t do X because Y might happen.

So what, the worst happens! Now you know what you have to cope with, now you can make decisions, choose your course of action; in other words take control.

Yesterday I had a resolution to a long-running issue. It was not the resolution I had hoped for and yet, since that decision was made, I have felt so much lighter, so much more positive and in charge of my own destiny again. It’s as if others were pushing all the buttons, controlling way too many aspects of my life, for months.

And you know what, now that I’m back in the driving seat, I will enjoy the journey.

Down Time

Life Stressors, positive thinking, , ,

You can define this several ways.

A period of rest or recuperation.

A time of unhappiness…. or

A time of stepping outside of it all, to reflect and consider.

Sometimes disappointment cuts so deep it’s difficult to see a way out of the emotional cul-de-sac and a period feeling nothing at all can be a welcome break.

I’m not talking about wallowing aimlessly, but rather a time where I show myself the same kindness and understanding I would to a good friend. With enough time and space I can usually find the sense, the purpose of it all.

If we retire to lick our wounds and recover then we should come back again, stronger and more self-aware, but only if we leave bitterness behind; bitterness can play no part in healing or moving on.

Here’s to tomorrow.

Mental Blocks….

Life Stressors, positive thinking,

I would really love to know why, at times of heightened stress, does my mind, body, (whatever), prevent me carrying out the simplest of tasks that would undoubtedly help alleviate that stress.

Why do I mentally block my own path to relief?

I could blame the weather, the time of year and dozens of other meaningless fall-guys, but it comes down to me. It’s about me trying to hide from the issues nagging at my conscience and sabotaging my peace of mind.

And yes, of course we all know these things are often so innocuous, so easily sorted, as to be almost laughable; ALMOST.

I know I am not on my own, so tell me please, why do we do it?

The funny thing is I would tackle a dozen bigger tasks, simply to avoid that one thing; that crippling, soul-sucking thing that haunts my dreams. Then, to top it all, just in case the panic inside me threatens to bubble up, I shove it all back down with biscuits, chocolate or anything else that gives a momentary reprieve from it all.

So I am breathing deeply as I open my other laptop, switch it on and, as it boots up, I have already started scratching out the notes I need for my presentation.

What was all the fuss about?

And Do It Now..

Diets, positive thinking,

Don’t wait until you are the perfect weight, the perfect age, in fact, the perfect anything, to be happy with who you are. The who you are now is good enough.
Enjoy the journey to a better you by all means, taking in all that happens on the way, but try not to place limitations such as time or even where that journey will take you.
I recommend everyone find their own version of my “Red Lipstick” moment. Last week I decided I am NOT too old, NOT too fat and certainly NOT too unworthy to wear red lipstick and every time I smooth the glorious colour across my lips I feel an affirmation of the who I am right now; I’m good enough.

Just Do It!

Life Stressors, , ,

Another hard day at Black Rock!

That’s how I feel when my stress levels are as high as they were earlier this evening. As I complained to my friend down the phone I stood outside of myself and thought,

“Oh shut up and just do it! Just do what you keep talking about and…LET….IT…GO!”

Now, I didn’t feel better that second, but the journey to a place of mental ease DID begin right away. My inner child wanted to continue my rant but thankfully my self-preservation won the day.

The problems are still there but my view of them is not obscured by the “red mist” of anger.

Finding Peace

Kind Thoughts, , , ,

I have witnessed someone close to me struggle with and shout at life for many, many years. Now, in a much weakened state, you would think they would see the sense in conserving their energy; energy that could help them regain better health. But, very sadly, I have found that inner turmoil and anger still to the fore. I can see it driven by fear now, as control of their life seems to be disappearing.

I used to believe I could help, that their unhappiness was my fault, but, thankfully, I have been able to break free from that misconception. It took a long time for me to understand, but, as I have touched on in recent posts, we are responsible for our own happiness and mental well-being.

I hope and pray my mother finds some inner peace and the joy of life that has eluded her all these years.