Tag Archives: coping with life

Common Decency?…..I wish !

Life Stressors,

How many times have you heard someone say, ” Well it’s just common decency….”

What do you think? How commonly do you find “decency” in your daily life?

I’m very lucky. I think I meet decency on a pretty regular basis but, sadly, not as much as perhaps I could. It seems to have gone out of fashion a bit; perhaps a bit “soft” now. How tragic that shock/horror have taken over and what will that mean for society?

That’s not difficult to answer when you look around. And yet…….

Now and again I see the green shoots of a return to the standards I remember from years gone by and, funnily enough, from the very age group you may have thought guilty of trashing the idea of “decency”. Perhaps the “shock factor” has become as boring and old hat as anything else given time. Perhaps young ones are looking at Miley’s “Twerking” and thinking “Oh, that’s so yesterday love. Get over it !”

A good friend of mine places being “decent” to one another, whether in business or private, above almost anything else and I’m inclined to agree. You don’t have to love or even like a person to behave decently towards them and wouldn’t that make for a better society, a decent one!

It’s the Small Stuff that Makes you Sweat!

Life Stressors

I understand, honestly I do. Take care of the big things in life and let the “small stuff” take care of itself.

But it’s the “small stuff” that gets you!!

I can get my head around the major decisions/issues, take time to compose my thoughts and sort out my coping mechanisms and then, the minutiae, the day-to-day dross, just knocks me on my ass. It sucks the life out of you and you think,

“Ugh, just kill me now.”

I suppose though, even this “stuff” can actually be spilt into two camps; the unavoidable crap that just IS, and the mind-numbing, nerve jangling shit that some people dream up and attach a huge importance to, as if to justify their existence.

It’s the futility of it all that is so frustrating. Each thing may be so petty, so insignificant and yet, when they all pile up, the effect can be shattering.

For Christmas I’m going to ask for an “Auto-Delete” button in my head, so I can discard this life-draining bilge before it gets a chance to ruin another day.

Far be it from me to say…….but

The Weekend, work-life balance,

It’s the early hours of Saturday morning and I’m feeling really chilled, the best part of the weekend because it’s all in front of you. Brilliant.

It has been a stinker of a week but, thanks to my fantastic mates ( male and female) I am still in one piece and have not throttled anyone as yet. It’s all good. I am calm, peaceful and at one with the world. I have decided not to stress about work, unfairness, people being idiots (ahh, bless), my kitchen being a shit-hole every time I come home ( he’s baking Christmas puds  ‘cos I’m not quite fat enough yet), the dog rolling in crap when you let her out ( looovvvely)…..you know what I mean, you get the picture. Well, none of that bothers me any more because I have found the path to inner harmony…………………….

Eh, I don’t bloody think so!  No.

At least not all of it. I actually have at last got my head around some of my work related stress and for now that is an incredible relief, it really is, and maybe that’s enough. I can never imagine myself being ” at peace” with the WORLD ( neither could anyone that knows me); there is just too much shit going on out there to find peace with all of it at the same time. But, “A” peace in “any” part of your life is a blessing, and so are those that help you find it!

Thanks guys. Love you.

 

Wonderful, wonderful women!!

women,

I started this blog to rejoice in the strength and positivity of the women I know and those I meet on a day to day basis.

Very recently I met a young woman with two beautiful daughters under 10 and a very busy husband. Everything looked ideal. Suddenly, when she and were chatting alone, tears started to roll down her face as she explained this has been a very difficult year for her. She didn’t manage to get to the crux of whatever issue was troubling her because one of her little girls rushed up needing attention. Just like a mother, she quickly wiped her tears away before turning to her daughter, laughing and encouraging her. The moment had passed and we smiled in recognition of it as she moved away to gather up her girls and get their lunch sorted. Just one woman reaching out to another and my being a virtual stranger made it easier, no loss of face or image to keep up. I worry did she find any solace, any comfort. I believe she knew I understood because don’t we all. Don’t we all know the place she is in, because at some point we have all been there…. and most probably will be again.

Tonight, roughly two hours ago, I met another woman, and within minutes we were laughing at how we seemed to be living each others lives, the commonality of our “problems” quite staggering. We chatted as if we had known each other for years and could have quite happily have spent the entire night sharing stories and anecdotes. Her energy and love of life was palpable. A real joy to meet.

These two stories may seem to be at opposite ends of anyone’s scale but they have a very significant link. None of us were afraid of the others scorn or condemnation. We wanted to be, and were, open and honest and all in an atmosphere of support and empathy.

Now I have to admit to enjoying a bit of a “Joan Rivers” type of humour at times; most of us have. But long after the laughter that kind of empty bitchiness allows us has left our lips, the kindness and warmth of women will stay with me.

I actually think we are quite amazing!!

A State of Grace…..

Uncategorized,

Strange as this may sound, but, after having a few pretty awful weeks, I am sitting down to write this blog with a feeling of peace and tranquillity that has sadly been missing from my life for while, and I’ll tell you why. In the middle of all the “stuff” going on I happened to meet three people that helped restore not only my faith in human kind but in our ability to cope with the big things in life, without going into a complete meltdown.

Instead of a ” Why me” they had a “Why not me” attitude. And I don’t mean in any kind of a “Pollyanna” type of sickly, fake goodness kind of thing. No, these folk were staring at some life-changing events with courage, dignity and a determination to affect change where they can and accept what cannot be altered.

They were not blinkered by their own lives to the pain or suffering of others around them; not so self absorbed as to be unable to look at the happenings around the world and find both the positive and negative in all that is going on. They maintained the ability to reach out to help others, and yes, to ask for help for themselves.

Is this generosity of spirit the “State of Grace” we hear about? I hope so. I felt lighter and more positive after each of these meetings than words can ever say and I very much doubt any of the individuals involved would have any idea how much they have affected me.

They were ordinary people living extraordinarily.

It is so easy to get bogged down in the shocking and heart-breaking events on the news, but there is also so much good around us too. I cringe when people say ” Oh, there’s always people worse off than you” and I certainly derive no comfort from that thought but the next time I feel the pressure of life getting too much I will think of these people and hope some of their grace and dignity has rubbed off on me.