Tag Archives: positive thinking

We Say No To Revenge Porn…….,

though I just wish a lot more people would say “No” when  this idea is put to them or they come up with it all of their own accord!

I fully understand that some people feel they have no choice for whatever reason and were forced into it, but that still leaves an awful lot of people who seem to think getting naked, taking photographs and then giving access to these pics to their latest nearest and dearest is a good idea. Eh, get the hell over that one please!!

Even if you could trust this person with your life, just how many “celebrities” do you have to witness having their bits and bobs flashed all over the various media platforms to get the message that this is NEVER a safe thing to do. EVER!

It reminds me of the stories of some of the tribes in far-flung continents who were afraid of having their pictures taken, fearing the camera would take their soul and with that their power. Guess what, they were right.

Let anyone have pictures like this of you and they have taken your soul and with it your power. It’s not just a digital image anymore; that’s your future you are giving them.

Think about it.

So Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want……

Be very thankful I’m not singing this to you; I couldn’t carry a note in a bucket, honestly!

Earlier on this evening a friend advised me to think about what it is I really want from life and for myself, and to then focus on how I achieve these goals. I started to sound like a beauty pageant contestant with my trite answers of happiness, world peace etc, and when I got down to it I could not be more specific.

“Then you are lost” my friend said.

I was quiet for a moment. “Perhaps you are right,” I said.

Because seriously, whilst I can think of a lot of things I do NOT want, I have big problems in identfying positive goals, of having the strength of mind (and nerves) to state the case for my own destiny.

And I know why too; FEAR. Apathy as well.

Fear because it will not suit some of those that depend on me to be there for them and apathy in taking on that battle.

Cutting myself some slack, I know I am getting over ( very slowly) a bad flu and feeling physically very low, but it has certainly got me thinking. I hadn’t actually realised that any positive feelings I had, held the benefit and happiness of others at the core and that my own well being was a spin-off from that. That is not noble. People do not appreciate it and really, why should they?

Again I am reminded of my good friend, quoting a well-known, but little understood, passage from the bible.

“Love thy neighbour, as you would love thyself.”

If you have problems with the love bit try replacing it with “value”; whatever works for you. But until any of us can value/love/appreciate who we are how can we hope to extend that love to others in a healthy way, without sacrificing our own hopes and dreams?

Answers on a postcard to……………..

Snow is Falling…….La, La,La, La

Oh, sorry, I think I’ve missed the boat a bit. It’s just with all the talk of the snow we are due to get  I think I’ve regressed a month.

Folk in America have been warned to stay indoors, avoid unnecessary travel, stock up on basic provisions etc, etc. So it’s time to pull up the drawbridge for the next week or so for them.

The UK is due to get more than usual snow, nowhere near as much as America, but still, enough to cause some disruption. And so the moaning and complaining is rife.

If this was all happening in the run up to Christmas would we deal with it differently? Wouldn’t we reckon it came with the territory and just add it to the list of things to cope with.

But, come January, the tinsel is long gone, the credit card bills are in and we watch for the stretch in the days with bated breath. We are done with winter and just long for the suns warmth on our skin again. Our patience with nature is wearing thin.

Sadly we spend our time living for the highlights, the holidays, birthdays, Christmas, whatever; so much so that, to an extent, we become irritated with the in between bits. But that’s where the majority of all our lives happens.

I’m watching the snow fall now and loving the fact it makes my tatty, untidy garden look so pretty. If it slows down my travel tomorrow it will give me more time to notice the journey.

And when the snow is long gone I hope that effect stays. Enjoy your journey.

And Do It Now..

Don’t wait until you are the perfect weight, the perfect age, in fact, the perfect anything, to be happy with who you are. The who you are now is good enough.
Enjoy the journey to a better you by all means, taking in all that happens on the way, but try not to place limitations such as time or even where that journey will take you.
I recommend everyone find their own version of my “Red Lipstick” moment. Last week I decided I am NOT too old, NOT too fat and certainly NOT too unworthy to wear red lipstick and every time I smooth the glorious colour across my lips I feel an affirmation of the who I am right now; I’m good enough.

Just Do It!

Another hard day at Black Rock!

That’s how I feel when my stress levels are as high as they were earlier this evening. As I complained to my friend down the phone I stood outside of myself and thought,

“Oh shut up and just do it! Just do what you keep talking about and…LET….IT…GO!”

Now, I didn’t feel better that second, but the journey to a place of mental ease DID begin right away. My inner child wanted to continue my rant but thankfully my self-preservation won the day.

The problems are still there but my view of them is not obscured by the “red mist” of anger.

Finding Peace

I have witnessed someone close to me struggle with and shout at life for many, many years. Now, in a much weakened state, you would think they would see the sense in conserving their energy; energy that could help them regain better health. But, very sadly, I have found that inner turmoil and anger still to the fore. I can see it driven by fear now, as control of their life seems to be disappearing.

I used to believe I could help, that their unhappiness was my fault, but, thankfully, I have been able to break free from that misconception. It took a long time for me to understand, but, as I have touched on in recent posts, we are responsible for our own happiness and mental well-being.

I hope and pray my mother finds some inner peace and the joy of life that has eluded her all these years.

Heart Vs Head..The Constant Battle

In responding to a previous comment, it highlighted something that writing this blog has brought into sharp focus; the constant inner battle between my instinct and my intellect.

I understand a lot of what makes me feel better, helps make me a better version of who I am, and the people and processes that enrich my life. I can  discuss, at length, the ideal mental attitude to help me achieve both physical and emotional harmony.( or a move in that direction anyway)

So, WHY, would someone please explain to me, does this process go into short-circuit somewhere in my body?

Can our heads and our hearts ever work in “sync” or are they mutually exclusive processes?

During a deep and meaningful conversation with a good friend we discussed protecting our “souls”, the essence of who we are, and how much we risk when we love someone or something. So, if my head were in control what would I do?  Isolate myself?  Put a ring of steel around my heart so I didn’t suffer hurt or humiliation?

My instinct yells “NO”!  With every pore of my being, and accepting of the strife and stress that comes with it, NO!

Physical and emotional harmony are wonderful ideals; something to aspire to and work towards, but love and life are worth the risks.


That’s the sigh of relief that comes with a sense of accomplishment. Okay, so I took a bit of a detour from my plan of getting the workie bits out of the way before I spent some time just suiting myself. I had a lovely relaxing bath, listened to my music and sang along to my hearts content. ( bet you are glad you couldn’t hear that bit. You should be).

But what’s it all about, honestly? I was nearly ready to go out and clean the dammed windows in the middle of the night rather than tackle that lousy report. And, you know, when I did actually start I had it sorted in, at the most, 15 minutes! Why oh why did I let that hang over me, like a huge axe about to fall, for the entire weekend.

Happily I am still in a very positive mood, but I am determined to stop allowing things like this to have so much power over me. I will take the control back from places, people or stuff that threatens to dominate me or my life.

No-one can break me without my co-operation.

It’s That Time Again…

Okay, so it’s Sunday evening again. So what! I laugh in the face of adversity. Ha ha ha!!

Fair enough, the butterflies are boogieing around my tummy as I write, but I am not giving in to the normal gut-wrenching dread of previous weeks.

Firstly I will take a bit of control; complete my report for my a.m. meeting, put my clothes out for the morning and look over the training material I will be using tomorrow.

And then, I will be nice to me with a lovely, relaxing bath with my new iPod ( full of music my family all hate, brilliant!), and some of the gorgeous goodies I was lucky enough to receive for Christmas.

I am trying so hard to put into practice the ” Choose your mood” part of my earlier blogs. It’s very difficult and this is one of my very big issues(the Sunday night thing), but you know what; whether my mood is good or bad this IS Sunday and I can’t change that. Tomorrow morning I go into work because I need to earn a living, and I can’t change that either.

So, like us all, I have choices. I am choosing to do whatever it is I have to with the best grace, mental attitude and generosity of spirit I can possibly muster.

Well, all things being equal !!