Category Archives: Life Stressors

Just Smile and Tiny Tweaks….

Diets, Life Stressors, Management styles, positive thinking,

I am the first to say I don’t go for this type of thing, but honestly, this is so worth watching. Actually it gets off to a shaky start and Amy seems to be suffering from dry mouth( stress perhaps), which I found odd as the message was about confidence and how we communicate that to others. But stay with it.

Amy goes on to share a very personal experience, something I found very moving and I judged her to be completely sincere in everything she said. The audience believed her too and responded very positively to her generosity of spirit.

I have heard parts of this discussion before and agree that the act of smiling is one of the most simple and effective things we can do to relieve stress and lift our mood. And completely free! That’s the kind of therapy I like.

Be careful when you practice this though. I was in a real stinker of a mood one morning on my  way into work, getting worse by the minute as I sat, stuck in traffic. I remembered about the ” Just Smile” idea and wanted to shift my mood before affecting anyone else so, with a great deal of effort, I put on my favourite “happy” music and pulled my mouth up from my boots, into my biggest, bestest smile….. And scared seven shades of daylight out of the guy in the car beside me! I think he reckoned I had lost the plot and was about to carry out some kind of mayhem. Oh well, you can’t win them all.

Anyway, like I say, I really think this is worth your time and I would love to know if you agree.

Snow is Falling…….La, La,La, La

Life Stressors, positive thinking,

Oh, sorry, I think I’ve missed the boat a bit. It’s just with all the talk of the snow we are due to get  I think I’ve regressed a month.

Folk in America have been warned to stay indoors, avoid unnecessary travel, stock up on basic provisions etc, etc. So it’s time to pull up the drawbridge for the next week or so for them.

The UK is due to get more than usual snow, nowhere near as much as America, but still, enough to cause some disruption. And so the moaning and complaining is rife.

If this was all happening in the run up to Christmas would we deal with it differently? Wouldn’t we reckon it came with the territory and just add it to the list of things to cope with.

But, come January, the tinsel is long gone, the credit card bills are in and we watch for the stretch in the days with bated breath. We are done with winter and just long for the suns warmth on our skin again. Our patience with nature is wearing thin.

Sadly we spend our time living for the highlights, the holidays, birthdays, Christmas, whatever; so much so that, to an extent, we become irritated with the in between bits. But that’s where the majority of all our lives happens.

I’m watching the snow fall now and loving the fact it makes my tatty, untidy garden look so pretty. If it slows down my travel tomorrow it will give me more time to notice the journey.

And when the snow is long gone I hope that effect stays. Enjoy your journey.

Downers…Ho Hum..

Life Stressors, , , ,

Do you ever feel like throwing a wobbly; you know, the spoilt brat kind of leg-kicking, fist-banging, need-a-kick-in-the-ass kind of wobbly??

God, I don’t think I even have the energy for that right now, but inside I feel it. Inside I feel so frustrated with life, with everything. And funnily enough, when you feel like that nothing comes out right. That frustration comes through your words, your body language and the rest!

I feel so tired. I’m tired of not being able to fix the terrible things that are happening to too many of my family and friends. Grief and sadness and worry are flowing down over those I love and cherish. All I have been able to do is listen.

So I go back to the beginning.

I do my very best impression of Pollyanna and remember ALL of the many people and things I have to be “Glad” for, and I feel my world righting itself once more.

With the best will in the world no-one can “fix” anyone else, and so many times in my life I would have given anything for someone to listen to me, without judgement or scorn.

So, onwards and upwards. Carry on MacDuff!

Touching The Bottom….

Life Stressors, , ,

No, not that bottom!

A massively stress-inducing factor in life is uncertainty; of looking into that black pool and wondering where the bottom is.

Uncertainty seems to take away our options. We can’t do X because Y might happen.

So what, the worst happens! Now you know what you have to cope with, now you can make decisions, choose your course of action; in other words take control.

Yesterday I had a resolution to a long-running issue. It was not the resolution I had hoped for and yet, since that decision was made, I have felt so much lighter, so much more positive and in charge of my own destiny again. It’s as if others were pushing all the buttons, controlling way too many aspects of my life, for months.

And you know what, now that I’m back in the driving seat, I will enjoy the journey.

Down Time

Life Stressors, positive thinking, , ,

You can define this several ways.

A period of rest or recuperation.

A time of unhappiness…. or

A time of stepping outside of it all, to reflect and consider.

Sometimes disappointment cuts so deep it’s difficult to see a way out of the emotional cul-de-sac and a period feeling nothing at all can be a welcome break.

I’m not talking about wallowing aimlessly, but rather a time where I show myself the same kindness and understanding I would to a good friend. With enough time and space I can usually find the sense, the purpose of it all.

If we retire to lick our wounds and recover then we should come back again, stronger and more self-aware, but only if we leave bitterness behind; bitterness can play no part in healing or moving on.

Here’s to tomorrow.

Mental Blocks….

Life Stressors, positive thinking,

I would really love to know why, at times of heightened stress, does my mind, body, (whatever), prevent me carrying out the simplest of tasks that would undoubtedly help alleviate that stress.

Why do I mentally block my own path to relief?

I could blame the weather, the time of year and dozens of other meaningless fall-guys, but it comes down to me. It’s about me trying to hide from the issues nagging at my conscience and sabotaging my peace of mind.

And yes, of course we all know these things are often so innocuous, so easily sorted, as to be almost laughable; ALMOST.

I know I am not on my own, so tell me please, why do we do it?

The funny thing is I would tackle a dozen bigger tasks, simply to avoid that one thing; that crippling, soul-sucking thing that haunts my dreams. Then, to top it all, just in case the panic inside me threatens to bubble up, I shove it all back down with biscuits, chocolate or anything else that gives a momentary reprieve from it all.

So I am breathing deeply as I open my other laptop, switch it on and, as it boots up, I have already started scratching out the notes I need for my presentation.

What was all the fuss about?

Just Do It!

Life Stressors, , ,

Another hard day at Black Rock!

That’s how I feel when my stress levels are as high as they were earlier this evening. As I complained to my friend down the phone I stood outside of myself and thought,

“Oh shut up and just do it! Just do what you keep talking about and…LET….IT…GO!”

Now, I didn’t feel better that second, but the journey to a place of mental ease DID begin right away. My inner child wanted to continue my rant but thankfully my self-preservation won the day.

The problems are still there but my view of them is not obscured by the “red mist” of anger.

Mmmm……

Life Stressors, positive thinking, ,

Now that was a day I wouldn’t be in too much of a hurry to repeat!

You know the kind; you get up in the morning, full of plans and positive energy and then watch as they disappear like the early morning mist; replaced with one mess after another. Are these kinds of days sent to remind us that we are not the masters of our own destiny, that fate can come up at any time and bite you on the ass?

Well bollocks to that! Okay, so things happened to-day that were way out of my control, but what I held on to was MY control, my reaction to each of these stressors and I am taking comfort from that. How much worse could any of it have been had I “lost it” along the way.

Tired and philosophical is okay; exhausted, emotionally drained and angry at life I can well do without thanks.

Heart Vs Head..The Constant Battle

Life Stressors, Our World,

In responding to a previous comment, it highlighted something that writing this blog has brought into sharp focus; the constant inner battle between my instinct and my intellect.

I understand a lot of what makes me feel better, helps make me a better version of who I am, and the people and processes that enrich my life. I can  discuss, at length, the ideal mental attitude to help me achieve both physical and emotional harmony.( or a move in that direction anyway)

So, WHY, would someone please explain to me, does this process go into short-circuit somewhere in my body?

Can our heads and our hearts ever work in “sync” or are they mutually exclusive processes?

During a deep and meaningful conversation with a good friend we discussed protecting our “souls”, the essence of who we are, and how much we risk when we love someone or something. So, if my head were in control what would I do?  Isolate myself?  Put a ring of steel around my heart so I didn’t suffer hurt or humiliation?

My instinct yells “NO”!  With every pore of my being, and accepting of the strife and stress that comes with it, NO!

Physical and emotional harmony are wonderful ideals; something to aspire to and work towards, but love and life are worth the risks.

Aaaahhhhh………

Life Stressors, , ,

That’s the sigh of relief that comes with a sense of accomplishment. Okay, so I took a bit of a detour from my plan of getting the workie bits out of the way before I spent some time just suiting myself. I had a lovely relaxing bath, listened to my music and sang along to my hearts content. ( bet you are glad you couldn’t hear that bit. You should be).

But what’s it all about, honestly? I was nearly ready to go out and clean the dammed windows in the middle of the night rather than tackle that lousy report. And, you know, when I did actually start I had it sorted in, at the most, 15 minutes! Why oh why did I let that hang over me, like a huge axe about to fall, for the entire weekend.

Happily I am still in a very positive mood, but I am determined to stop allowing things like this to have so much power over me. I will take the control back from places, people or stuff that threatens to dominate me or my life.

No-one can break me without my co-operation.