Category Archives: positive thinking

Giving It Up.

Calm and Relaxation, Easy Living, harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , , , ,

I have read so many self-help books, listened to so many experts and attended so many seminars, all aimed at helping us give up the struggle, the stress and the negative thoughts and behaviour that marks our lives.

And I get it! Honestly, I do. Let’s face it, the vast majority of it is plain, good old common sense.

But, what it is NOT, is easy; hence the enormous quantity and re-hashing of similar information.

But, no-body said it would, or should, be.

What it is, is worth it.

Each time I hand over a particular stressor to my life’s path, I gain a relief and sense of peace I would not swap for any amount of money or possession.

I am where I am supposed to be, for whatever reason, and I will find happiness here and now.

I have lived with more stuff, more money, more ego, more fear, more stress.

Giving up the fear of losing something you never “owned” in the first place is liberating, and underlines that well-known saying,

“Less is more.”

I Love You Harriette Thompson !!

Charity, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , ,

I love this woman, even though all my excuses for not getting off my backside were blown away as the news reports of her crossing the line on her latest marathon were flashed up on the TV screen.

Not only is she 91 ( or 92 depending on which report you listen to) but she has survived cancer and did not start running until she was 76 years old.

Technically, I could wait another 24 years before starting a whole other aspect of my life! Wow, what an amazing notion.

She is bright, generous and self-effacing; a true inspiration, but I suspect she might tell me not to wait until I am 76. I think she might tell me to do something, anything, now.

Whatever she might say, I love you Harriette.

Would You Believe It?

Charity, Families, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , , ,

The news is full of stories illustrating “mans inhumanity to man”, but rarely do we get to hear about those moments of inspiration that so perfectly show what the power of many can do.

Last week approximately one hundred passers-by rushed to the aid of a cyclist trapped under a double-decker bus in Walthamstow, London. Together, they lifted the bus enough to allow the injured man to be pulled clear. Their behaviour flies in the face of the theorists that say, when we become part of a crowd we are slow to react, electing to stand back and wait for “someone else” to take charge.

I doubt anyone there stopped to check out the person on either side of them, to assess whether they would ask them round to theirs for tea on Sunday; they just took a place beside them and, together, their joint strength and will moved, not mountains on this occasion, but a huge, heavy bus and for the benefit of one.

This happened three days ago and I have been wishing ever since we could work like this on a larger scale, politically and socially.

Well, to-day it is wonderful to find that we have.

The news of the breakthrough in the treatment of cancer is nothing short of spectacular. This result is not only the amazing work of the scientists involved, but of every charity collector in the street, every mini-marathon runner, every patient that has taken part in clinical trials and every man, woman and child that has donated time, money and energy to find and fund a cure.

Our own future health is a mixture of good diet, reasonable exercise, genetics and luck, but the vast majority of people I know have invested, in some shape or form, in this research, without waiting to see if they are going to benefit from it personally and without wishing to monitor those that may benefit from it.

We have the power to do wonderful things when we focus on the hope that unites us instead of the despair that divides.

Important Breaking News!!

Diets, Life Stressors, positive thinking, The Good Things In Life, , ,

I am not making this up!

A gang have stolen £200k worth of Toblerone chocolate from a lorry, as reported in “The Telegraph”. Just in case anyone that knows me is about to call the police let me first say,

“I have an alibi!”

And just for the record, £23k worth of whiskey was stolen on another occasion by the same gang, so I might have to turn some of my friends in on this one.

It brings to mind the time my friend’s house was burgled. It was horrible and they took a lot of things she could never replace; really heartbreaking.

One thing stood out though, the ironing board! They stole her ironing board!

When I saw the report of the chocolate theft I imagined a “Sopranos” type scenario, only instead of a fur coat or diamond ring, Tony brings home a bottle of whiskey, a bar of chocolate and an ironing board! Love to see Carmella’s face!

Where Is The Middle Ground ?

harrassment, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, The Power of Celebrity, , , , ,

In an era of supposed tolerance I fear society is becoming an environment of increased contradictions, hypocrisy and more polarised than I ever remember it.

By making things law we do not remove people’s ignorance or lack of understanding of different issues, but merely encourage bitterness and resentment which, with the right fuel, ignites into episodes of hatred and violence.

I was reading recently where some are asking for legislation to be passed that makes “wolf-whistling” illegal. I do not believe this is reasonable, or that it will prevent so many women being harassed in a deeply disturbing and intimidating manner.

We all know the difference between a “Hello darlin’ ” from a smiling, open face, without threat or malice, and a car full of men cruising along beside a lone female, making personal, pointed and threatening comments, leaving her frightened, embarrassed and abused. I have experienced both in my life, as have my two daughters, and they are as different as night and day.

Surely the first is about helping men understand what may or may not be suitable and the second should be dealt with under existing legislation. A new law will not bring a new understanding.

And what of me commenting on an image of a gorgeous, young man earlier this week online? Is that an offence? The comments coming back to me, from my female friends, would make your hair curl; funny but very rude. If my husband and his friends did the same about a gorgeous, young female’s image could I complain? No, but then I wouldn’t, if the context and intent was the same.

This week a court found a local bakery guilty of discrimination for refusing to bake a cake for a gay couple and ordered to pay £500 damages. Facebook has been buzzing and people who didn’t have much of an opinion on homosexuality, one way or another, or consider themselves as having strong Christian ideals, have been getting into quite heated debates ( arguments in some cases) over it.

With Colleen Nolan appearing on “Loose Women” and likening the baking of a cake for this homosexual couple to baking a cake for ISIS,( the cake being covered with a message supporting murder ), I see the already strained relationship here, between The Church and the Homosexual/Gay community, taking a few steps backwards. I empathised with the bakery if this truly upset their religious beliefs, but listening to this ignorant woman left me determined to not accept this kind of intolerance, wherever I find it.

We seem to need absolutes to-day; laws instead of reason, lists of “can and cannots”, instead of common sense and decency.

We complain of a “Nanny-State” and yet we are doing our level best to ensure that’s what we get.                    .

Being Thankful

Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, Special People, , ,

This is going to sound a bit odd, but my husband and I are just back from visiting a very good friend, of many, many years, in hospital where he was recovering from a severe and acute illness, one that very nearly killed him, and we had the best nights craic ( that’s Northern Irish for fun and laughs).

We had both been concerned at his appearance at his mother’s funeral two weeks earlier, but did not expect to get the phone call we did from his distraught wife on Sunday morning.

We drove up to the hospital with knots in our stomachs, fearing the worst. But it was great to see him sitting up and back to his grouchy ( in a good way) form, giving us the low-down on his dramatic escape.

And maybe that’s what it was. Maybe we all (his wife, her friend, my husband and I) felt like we had escaped that gaping black hole of grief at the loss of someone we love.

It was a time to laugh at the old times, go over those old stories, when we were ALL there to enjoy them once again. It was a time to let these wonderful people know we love them and our lives have been enriched by them being part of it all. And we did.

My youngest daughter phoned while we were still there to ask about our friend and to give him her love. This guy normally pretends to be oblivious to sentiment, but not now. He lowered his head and nodded, “Oh, that’s nice”, he muttered, still looking down.

Don’t wait to tell those that are important to you how much you love them.

I am so thankful our friend is still here, so grateful of the lesson in this.

What About Saying What You Feel??

Calm and Relaxation, Easy Living, harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , , , , , , , ,

No-one can stop us from feeling what we feel, but how about saying what we feel? Is that OUR right, all of the time?

I don’t believe so, because it depends on the WHY. Why are we choosing that moment to speak what is in our minds? Is it to exercise our right to free speech or is it to hurt, to put another down under the camouflage of ” Well I was just telling you the truth.” And whose truth is it anyway? It’s theirs, and their truth at that moment, regardless of however little knowledge they have of whatever is going on.

And then there is the flip side to this,( as with most things in life), because how many people really, REALLY want the truth; yours or anyone else’s. How many times have folk said to me, ” Now, tell me honestly,” or “I need you to be straight with me,” and I look at them and think, ” Who are you trying to kid. You want affirmation of your own thoughts/actions and couldn’t give a hoot for my opinion if it is going to clash with your own.”

So, I will temper my response by how close these people are to me, how important the matter appears to be and how genuine their need for my version of the truth is. But at no time will I feel imbued with some God-given right to wound another soul with what I feel is the “honest truth” on any subject or issue.

But I apologise. I started this blog about ” feelings” which is not always about truth. I still think the same applies though; as long as you do no harm in expressing your thoughts then, there should be no problem. And to see both the good and the bad aspects of this subject we need look no further than “Facebook” , “”Twitter” et al.

Modern media has such incredible capacity and power for good, and yet, in the hands of those who would, in the past, have been no more than village gossips, they can now go global with their determination to tell us all, just what they feel, about anything and everything.

What we need now are filters! Big ones and built-in to our brains, with off buttons for bullshit, whinging, bullying etc and an “On” switch for all the good things in life.

Say What You See!

Calm and Relaxation, harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , , , ,

Do you remember that phrase from that really annoying TV quiz? Well I do, but I want to talk about it  with a slightly different twist.

You know, you’re upset about something or someone and you think to yourself, “If I go quiet then they will notice and realise I am unhappy and ask me why and tease it out of me and then comfort me and make me feel better.” 
In your dreams, and just for the record, somebody else’ nightmare!
Life is not the movies! You don’t stand, enigmatically, looking out of the window, whilst clutching at the silk drapes, a lace hanky dabbing at your nose and then have the hero somehow read your mind, come over to you, putting a strong arm around you and tell you everything will be all right.
REAL LIFE =  You standing looking out of the window while the “hero” shouts, “Where are my underpants?”  His version of reading your mind? ” She’s being a moody bitch again.” 
Sorry men; cheap shot; true, but cheap! Anyway, this isn’t really about male vs female. It’s about us all.
None of us have the time or energy to figure out what’s going on in the mind of those around us. If you’re anything like me, I can’t even figure out my own mind. So, when we are faced with someone being quiet, withdrawn, not speaking to us, we don’t immediately think, ” Oh, maybe X has happened and she/he needs me to do Y.”
Do we bollocks! No! We think, ” There they go, being a moody cow/git again.”  We Say What We See.
So ask; ask for help or understanding, whatever it is you need. When people find out your “mood” is not their fault they are usually very relieved and happy to console or listen; but ask. Give others their comfort zones and you may be amazed with what you get in return. 

Colouring In Books for Grown Ups? Really?

Calm and Relaxation, Easy Living, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , ,

Just read an article in TheWeek.co.uk claiming half of the top ten best-selling books on Amazon are actually colouring in books for adults and this is the new craze for us grown ups.

It mentions groups of people getting together for coffee and a colouring session and how they are disconnected from technology whilst doing this, therefore they are relaxing, Yes? No! The next thing they talk about is how they are concentrating on staying within the lines and I can feel my adrenalin levels rising.

One of the better aspects for me about getting older is saying “bollocks” to staying inside any lines, on a page or anywhere else. I have this image of being back in school with the little boy beside me shoving my elbow because his picture was not as neat as mine. That was the end of a not so beautiful friendship!

Now, to each their own, but I can think loads of more stress relieving pastimes than revisiting that part of my childhood.

The “Great Put Down”….?

Easy Living, harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Media, Our World, positive thinking, Special People, , , , , , , , ,

Yes, I have laughed along with the best of them when a smart comment seems to take the ground from under a politician or other such publicity hungry individual who has apparently grown too big for their boots. The individual that deals the blow seems to grow in stature, to be feared and revered at once. Who has not admired the skilled comedian that leaves the heckler speechless and regretting he bought his concert ticket.

While we laugh along with the giant-slayer we are part of the crowd, anonymous and comfortable, relieved that, for now, we are not the victim of the barbs. But it can come to us all.

I have been told that no-one can put you down without your co-operation; a sentiment I understand and appreciate, until you remember that we all have weak spots. Those more subtle slights that compound our self-doubt can be more deadly than an outright assault, one we see coming and can fend off with a smart repost.

Who among us is bullet-proof when in the line of fire?  Not I. I have way too many faults and weaknesses to want anyone to “take me down”, humiliate or destroy me as part of some great sport. I would also take no pleasure in inflicting that on anyone else.

So leave it to the wannabe politicians and their inquisitors.

A “Great Put Down”. No Thanks