Sunday is the start of a new week. We miss that a bit nowadays with shops open as it seems like just another day. But it’s not; it’s a chance to let go of last weeks frustrations and start a new one with a new and different outlook.
Someone very close to me has just broken up with her boyfriend and he is moving out to-day. It had been bad for a long time but that doesn’t take all the pain out of the finality of this move. But I asked her to think of it as a new and fresh start to not only her week, but her life. All credit to her, she has tried hard and is happy to say she has some hope and a little excitement about the opportunities now open to her.
I have neglected my health and well-being for a long time now and looks like that neglect has lead to an ulcer, causing a lot of pain, nausea and fatigue. I had been feeling really low about it all. But I’m looking out the window now at a crisp and bright Sunday morning and this is a fresh start for me too. It’s time to practice what I preach and value my health and body more than I have to date.
It’s all about perspective, about what you can do, not what you can’t have.
So, first of all let me congratulate Cindy on having the nerve to let this image go to press. That has taken a lot of courage.
But I am going to be really awful here; why, when we now see she actually IS a beautiful, but normal, woman do we need to see her in this kind of pose?
It’s odd but I am at once grateful to her and yet still irritated by it.
Jamie Leigh Curtis did a similar, but I feel more honest, version of this some years ago, posing in very ordinary underwear and without the rest of the pizzazz of Cindy’s picture. She also did the shoot without make-up. Her beauty was not compromised in any way.
This image has done a lot to dispel the myth that some “special” people do not suffer the same issues as the rest of us mere mortals; but this is a highly intelligent and successful businesswoman, so why is there is still so much emphasis being placed on her sexuality?
I am the first to say I don’t go for this type of thing, but honestly, this is so worth watching. Actually it gets off to a shaky start and Amy seems to be suffering from dry mouth( stress perhaps), which I found odd as the message was about confidence and how we communicate that to others. But stay with it.
Amy goes on to share a very personal experience, something I found very moving and I judged her to be completely sincere in everything she said. The audience believed her too and responded very positively to her generosity of spirit.
I have heard parts of this discussion before and agree that the act of smiling is one of the most simple and effective things we can do to relieve stress and lift our mood. And completely free! That’s the kind of therapy I like.
Be careful when you practice this though. I was in a real stinker of a mood one morning on my way into work, getting worse by the minute as I sat, stuck in traffic. I remembered about the ” Just Smile” idea and wanted to shift my mood before affecting anyone else so, with a great deal of effort, I put on my favourite “happy” music and pulled my mouth up from my boots, into my biggest, bestest smile….. And scared seven shades of daylight out of the guy in the car beside me! I think he reckoned I had lost the plot and was about to carry out some kind of mayhem. Oh well, you can’t win them all.
Anyway, like I say, I really think this is worth your time and I would love to know if you agree.
Don’t wait until you are the perfect weight, the perfect age, in fact, the perfect anything, to be happy with who you are. The who you are now is good enough.
Enjoy the journey to a better you by all means, taking in all that happens on the way, but try not to place limitations such as time or even where that journey will take you.
I recommend everyone find their own version of my “Red Lipstick” moment. Last week I decided I am NOT too old, NOT too fat and certainly NOT too unworthy to wear red lipstick and every time I smooth the glorious colour across my lips I feel an affirmation of the who I am right now; I’m good enough.
Maybe I should be singing this line? Mmmmm, maybe not as I couldn’t carry a note in a bucket !
Anyway, I am feeling sooooooo good. Took positive steps to do something to lose a bit of weight, had a catch up with a good friend I have not seen in a while and bought a lovely new RED lipstick when I was out shopping with one of my lovely daughters. What more could a girlie (okay middle aged woman) ask for?
Oh, except the ladies at the make-up counter were absolutely brilliant and we had a real hoot while spending some( not too much) money. And, also had a lot of laughs with some lovely people at the slimming club. And, found some common ground with the lady in the coffee shop…………..You getting the picture?
I wanted to have a good day to-day and I DID. It could have gone the other way at several of points throughout the day, but I chose the positive and the calm. I am writing this down as much for my benefit as anyone else. Hopefully the next time my shoulders slump due to the weight of the world pressing down on me I will think of this lovely day and cast the blackness aside.
Mmmmmm, so many options; lose weight, spend more time with my family, spend more time with my friends, spend less money.
The New Year gives us a chance to wipe the slate clean, start afresh and leave the failed resolutions of 2014 far behind. But why deal with life’s challenges in yearly chunks? Why hang on to our “failures” for even a moment longer than we need to process what it is we need to take from them to learn and move on?
I want to wake up each day with a determination to do the best I am capable of for that day; not a week, a fortnight or a month, just that day.
I want to give no energy whatsoever to the toxic, joy-sapping individuals that have occupied too much valuable head-space in the past, but concentrate instead on people and events that lighten my soul and reinforce how truly beautiful life can be. Even writing this down is helping me lose weight; the awful, all-consuming weight of a heavy heart.
I would like to share something with you that happened early on Monday morning, just as I was getting ready to leave for work. I had checked myself out in the mirror and thought I was looking fairly presentable; make-up done, hair done and dressed appropriately for the meetings I had that day.
As I sat down for a few minutes my husband, who has lost a fair bit of weight recently himself, looked across with one of those “I’m being sincere” looks. That always means trouble!
” Listen pet,” he says, ” You know I don’t want to hurt your feelings but.. do you not think you should lay off the pies. Your double chin is in danger of becoming a treble and as for your tummy”.
At this point I interrupted, with a kind of, ” Oh my goodness dear, but have you met me before.” or something along those lines (you get the drift). But no, the poor soul has not heard of ” If you have dug yourself a hole, throw away the spade” saying, and on he went with his caring advice.
Do you know in the end I actually had to laugh ( that is strange for me). Yes, I have put on weight and quite honestly you couldn’t carry buns to me at the minute, so I took it in the spirit it was intended, and that is very refreshing and new for me in this particular circumstance. He genuinely hoped to help me, even if most women I know would read this and want to choke him.
If someone truthfully intends no hurt then why do we take a hurt? No-one has to be that interested in you so, if like me, you have asked for honesty and help from people in the past how can you take offence when they try to do just that.
Oh, and it’s okay; he has survived to tell the tale!
And some have even worked for a time. Most recently I was hypnotised and simultaneously gave up “Dieting” once and for all. This seemed to be going really well and, honestly, I did feel somewhat liberated. But then the CD I listen to nightly stopped playing and I lost the thread a bit. So I traipsed off to the hypnotist again and he very kindly did it again and gave me a new CD. I left his office as happy as Larry and sooooo determined.
Now, 4 days later, I’m getting very concerned he has mixed up the cd’s and given me one to cure someone of anorexia! Dear God I could eat the chair I’m sitting on! I have blamed the clocks going back, the rain, being tired……….you name it, I’ve blamed it.
I look at my slim friends and have to admire their self-control, their discipline,…..but I also wonder why some folk can just say “no” to the excess calories and some of us just can’t seem to pass a chocolate, crisp or chip without wanting to reach out for it. ( Yeah, me and a few million others!)
I fully realise prioritising weight loss, self-esteem, self-respect and all those other selfs, all play their part in anyone’s success or ( dare I say) failure in this battle, but, I have to say, my slim friends suffer from all of the same life-stressors as me, so why do some of us feel the need to chow down like champions!
In the meantime I will continue with my “non-diet diet” and think health, not weight. It’s not about “skinny” any more. I’d just like to set down the small child I have been lugging about for too many years.