Tag Archives: Choices

Downers…Ho Hum..

Life Stressors, , , ,

Do you ever feel like throwing a wobbly; you know, the spoilt brat kind of leg-kicking, fist-banging, need-a-kick-in-the-ass kind of wobbly??

God, I don’t think I even have the energy for that right now, but inside I feel it. Inside I feel so frustrated with life, with everything. And funnily enough, when you feel like that nothing comes out right. That frustration comes through your words, your body language and the rest!

I feel so tired. I’m tired of not being able to fix the terrible things that are happening to too many of my family and friends. Grief and sadness and worry are flowing down over those I love and cherish. All I have been able to do is listen.

So I go back to the beginning.

I do my very best impression of Pollyanna and remember ALL of the many people and things I have to be “Glad” for, and I feel my world righting itself once more.

With the best will in the world no-one can “fix” anyone else, and so many times in my life I would have given anything for someone to listen to me, without judgement or scorn.

So, onwards and upwards. Carry on MacDuff!

Own Goals Ladies..Please !

Our World, women, ,

I was watching two people review the papers this morning on TV, as I got ready for work, and my heart sank.

The woman, calling herself a “feminist”,  started discussing an article from one of the tabloids with a reference to sexism and, as she became more and more annoyed by the topic, she turned on the man beside her, who was actually agreeing with the sentiment of her argument. Her rants and rhetoric did absolutely nothing to advance the cause of “Equality for Women”; a very noble and just cause that a lot of people (women AND men) have worked so hard for over the years.

I appreciate this is a deeply emotive subject, but I do not find it any more acceptable to listen to a woman berate a man for all the ills of the world, as if he were personally responsible, than if the “Louboutin” were on the other foot.(Am I being sexist there??)

Please, please stop distracting from the fundamental objective of “Equality”, not tokenism, not quotas of “Female Board Members”, and certainly not blaming every man to-day for an environment that has come about over thousands of years.

I fear for the ” Women’s Movement” of yesteryear. The waters seem so muddied with a myriad of confusing messages and images for young women now; their focus and energy taken up with silly side issues and a lot of guff, while the same old injustices still go on, unchecked.

We still have a very long way to go to achieve true equality, where we are ALL judged on our ability to do the job and not on whether we have a penis or a vagina.

Touching The Bottom….

Life Stressors, , ,

No, not that bottom!

A massively stress-inducing factor in life is uncertainty; of looking into that black pool and wondering where the bottom is.

Uncertainty seems to take away our options. We can’t do X because Y might happen.

So what, the worst happens! Now you know what you have to cope with, now you can make decisions, choose your course of action; in other words take control.

Yesterday I had a resolution to a long-running issue. It was not the resolution I had hoped for and yet, since that decision was made, I have felt so much lighter, so much more positive and in charge of my own destiny again. It’s as if others were pushing all the buttons, controlling way too many aspects of my life, for months.

And you know what, now that I’m back in the driving seat, I will enjoy the journey.

Down Time

Life Stressors, positive thinking, , ,

You can define this several ways.

A period of rest or recuperation.

A time of unhappiness…. or

A time of stepping outside of it all, to reflect and consider.

Sometimes disappointment cuts so deep it’s difficult to see a way out of the emotional cul-de-sac and a period feeling nothing at all can be a welcome break.

I’m not talking about wallowing aimlessly, but rather a time where I show myself the same kindness and understanding I would to a good friend. With enough time and space I can usually find the sense, the purpose of it all.

If we retire to lick our wounds and recover then we should come back again, stronger and more self-aware, but only if we leave bitterness behind; bitterness can play no part in healing or moving on.

Here’s to tomorrow.

Mental Blocks….

Life Stressors, positive thinking,

I would really love to know why, at times of heightened stress, does my mind, body, (whatever), prevent me carrying out the simplest of tasks that would undoubtedly help alleviate that stress.

Why do I mentally block my own path to relief?

I could blame the weather, the time of year and dozens of other meaningless fall-guys, but it comes down to me. It’s about me trying to hide from the issues nagging at my conscience and sabotaging my peace of mind.

And yes, of course we all know these things are often so innocuous, so easily sorted, as to be almost laughable; ALMOST.

I know I am not on my own, so tell me please, why do we do it?

The funny thing is I would tackle a dozen bigger tasks, simply to avoid that one thing; that crippling, soul-sucking thing that haunts my dreams. Then, to top it all, just in case the panic inside me threatens to bubble up, I shove it all back down with biscuits, chocolate or anything else that gives a momentary reprieve from it all.

So I am breathing deeply as I open my other laptop, switch it on and, as it boots up, I have already started scratching out the notes I need for my presentation.

What was all the fuss about?

Just Do It!

Life Stressors, , ,

Another hard day at Black Rock!

That’s how I feel when my stress levels are as high as they were earlier this evening. As I complained to my friend down the phone I stood outside of myself and thought,

“Oh shut up and just do it! Just do what you keep talking about and…LET….IT…GO!”

Now, I didn’t feel better that second, but the journey to a place of mental ease DID begin right away. My inner child wanted to continue my rant but thankfully my self-preservation won the day.

The problems are still there but my view of them is not obscured by the “red mist” of anger.

Finding Peace

Kind Thoughts, , , ,

I have witnessed someone close to me struggle with and shout at life for many, many years. Now, in a much weakened state, you would think they would see the sense in conserving their energy; energy that could help them regain better health. But, very sadly, I have found that inner turmoil and anger still to the fore. I can see it driven by fear now, as control of their life seems to be disappearing.

I used to believe I could help, that their unhappiness was my fault, but, thankfully, I have been able to break free from that misconception. It took a long time for me to understand, but, as I have touched on in recent posts, we are responsible for our own happiness and mental well-being.

I hope and pray my mother finds some inner peace and the joy of life that has eluded her all these years.

Mmmm……

Life Stressors, positive thinking, ,

Now that was a day I wouldn’t be in too much of a hurry to repeat!

You know the kind; you get up in the morning, full of plans and positive energy and then watch as they disappear like the early morning mist; replaced with one mess after another. Are these kinds of days sent to remind us that we are not the masters of our own destiny, that fate can come up at any time and bite you on the ass?

Well bollocks to that! Okay, so things happened to-day that were way out of my control, but what I held on to was MY control, my reaction to each of these stressors and I am taking comfort from that. How much worse could any of it have been had I “lost it” along the way.

Tired and philosophical is okay; exhausted, emotionally drained and angry at life I can well do without thanks.

Aaaahhhhh………

Life Stressors, , ,

That’s the sigh of relief that comes with a sense of accomplishment. Okay, so I took a bit of a detour from my plan of getting the workie bits out of the way before I spent some time just suiting myself. I had a lovely relaxing bath, listened to my music and sang along to my hearts content. ( bet you are glad you couldn’t hear that bit. You should be).

But what’s it all about, honestly? I was nearly ready to go out and clean the dammed windows in the middle of the night rather than tackle that lousy report. And, you know, when I did actually start I had it sorted in, at the most, 15 minutes! Why oh why did I let that hang over me, like a huge axe about to fall, for the entire weekend.

Happily I am still in a very positive mood, but I am determined to stop allowing things like this to have so much power over me. I will take the control back from places, people or stuff that threatens to dominate me or my life.

No-one can break me without my co-operation.