Category Archives: Easy Living

What About Saying What You Feel??

Calm and Relaxation, Easy Living, harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , , , , , , , ,

No-one can stop us from feeling what we feel, but how about saying what we feel? Is that OUR right, all of the time?

I don’t believe so, because it depends on the WHY. Why are we choosing that moment to speak what is in our minds? Is it to exercise our right to free speech or is it to hurt, to put another down under the camouflage of ” Well I was just telling you the truth.” And whose truth is it anyway? It’s theirs, and their truth at that moment, regardless of however little knowledge they have of whatever is going on.

And then there is the flip side to this,( as with most things in life), because how many people really, REALLY want the truth; yours or anyone else’s. How many times have folk said to me, ” Now, tell me honestly,” or “I need you to be straight with me,” and I look at them and think, ” Who are you trying to kid. You want affirmation of your own thoughts/actions and couldn’t give a hoot for my opinion if it is going to clash with your own.”

So, I will temper my response by how close these people are to me, how important the matter appears to be and how genuine their need for my version of the truth is. But at no time will I feel imbued with some God-given right to wound another soul with what I feel is the “honest truth” on any subject or issue.

But I apologise. I started this blog about ” feelings” which is not always about truth. I still think the same applies though; as long as you do no harm in expressing your thoughts then, there should be no problem. And to see both the good and the bad aspects of this subject we need look no further than “Facebook” , “”Twitter” et al.

Modern media has such incredible capacity and power for good, and yet, in the hands of those who would, in the past, have been no more than village gossips, they can now go global with their determination to tell us all, just what they feel, about anything and everything.

What we need now are filters! Big ones and built-in to our brains, with off buttons for bullshit, whinging, bullying etc and an “On” switch for all the good things in life.

Colouring In Books for Grown Ups? Really?

Calm and Relaxation, Easy Living, Life Stressors, Our World, positive thinking, , , , ,

Just read an article in TheWeek.co.uk claiming half of the top ten best-selling books on Amazon are actually colouring in books for adults and this is the new craze for us grown ups.

It mentions groups of people getting together for coffee and a colouring session and how they are disconnected from technology whilst doing this, therefore they are relaxing, Yes? No! The next thing they talk about is how they are concentrating on staying within the lines and I can feel my adrenalin levels rising.

One of the better aspects for me about getting older is saying “bollocks” to staying inside any lines, on a page or anywhere else. I have this image of being back in school with the little boy beside me shoving my elbow because his picture was not as neat as mine. That was the end of a not so beautiful friendship!

Now, to each their own, but I can think loads of more stress relieving pastimes than revisiting that part of my childhood.

The “Great Put Down”….?

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Yes, I have laughed along with the best of them when a smart comment seems to take the ground from under a politician or other such publicity hungry individual who has apparently grown too big for their boots. The individual that deals the blow seems to grow in stature, to be feared and revered at once. Who has not admired the skilled comedian that leaves the heckler speechless and regretting he bought his concert ticket.

While we laugh along with the giant-slayer we are part of the crowd, anonymous and comfortable, relieved that, for now, we are not the victim of the barbs. But it can come to us all.

I have been told that no-one can put you down without your co-operation; a sentiment I understand and appreciate, until you remember that we all have weak spots. Those more subtle slights that compound our self-doubt can be more deadly than an outright assault, one we see coming and can fend off with a smart repost.

Who among us is bullet-proof when in the line of fire?  Not I. I have way too many faults and weaknesses to want anyone to “take me down”, humiliate or destroy me as part of some great sport. I would also take no pleasure in inflicting that on anyone else.

So leave it to the wannabe politicians and their inquisitors.

A “Great Put Down”. No Thanks

Is “Fat a Feminist Issue?”

Diets, Easy Living, harrassment, Life Stressors, Our World, women, work-life balance, , , , , , , ,

Hell no!

Walk down any street, any public place ( any private place come to that) and you clearly see that FAT is an everyone issue!

What is similar though is the contradictory and cynical way which both the issues of “Fat” and “Feminism” are treated by the government and the media. They are such hypocrites. Magazines and TV programmes selling the next great way to lose weight are also laden with calorific-bomb recipes from the newest chefs, just as the government show “concern” at the ever-increasing girth of our children while allowing/supporting both food manufacturers and retailers to continue pumping menus aimed at children full of toxic and health damaging ingredients. I feel desperately sorry for the children of to-day. I believe the weight issues they will have as they get older will make mine look like a walk in the park.

Similarly women are still experiencing discrimination in the workplace (and others) whilst all the time being distracted with non-sensical demands which do nothing but help keep fellow women back from actual equality.

Fat, food and weight are a big problem for me; they have been for what seems like all my adult life.( me and a few squillion others). Oh yes, it’s dead simple, – eat less and move more. But just like our crappy food, we want all of this yesterday and with bells on! We want to lose weight ( and years) and snap back to what we looked like as teenagers ( you know, like the movie stars).

And what of equality? What is it each of us wants for the next generation?

I want a fair crack of the whip, regardless of whether you have tits or a dick. It’s just about who is best for the job. It’s that simple.

We all look for an “edge” at an interview, but seriously guys, if that edge comes down to your “six inches”( in your dreams! -….or maybe ours!!) then the world is still tits up! (pun intended)

Life Is A Lottery..

Easy Living, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Money, Our World, Wealth, work-life balance, , , ,

I had to laugh at the retired couple who won £53 million on the lottery and thought it was an April Fools joke! The husband explains how he had to wait for four hours to tell his wife as she was away, helping at an OAP’s lunch. It’s a really lovely story, but I can’t help thinking how differently I would react if I had just matched the winning numbers myself.

Well, if I actually survived the shock, I don’t think I could manage to wait four hours to tell anyone, honestly!

I remember sitting at the lunch table with a bunch of my female friends and discussing just such an occasion and how we would all react. I thought for a moment or two and then reckoned, depending on the amount of the win( and £53 million qualifies) that I would come into work, stark naked, save for a pair of very high red patent shoes and, as for my resignation letter, well….. I daren’t tell you where I would hide that!  It put one of my friends right off her lunch!

I’m sure there are a lot of folk who think that is too much money for anyone to win. Well, not me! Where is the issue? If you have too much money and are so afraid it is going to corrupt you; for one thing don’t do the bloody lottery in the first place and, secondly, give away anything you don’t want or need. There are so many good causes out there that would be more than happy to take some of it off your hands and sooth your conscience.

As for not knowing who your “real” friends are? They are the same ones you have always had, so, keeping that in mind, just share the love. Surely the real joy in having an amount of money like that drop into your lap is the happiness and good you can bring to the lives of others.

Money is not the root of all evil, but the greed for it is.

The Calm Before The……..Whatever

Easy Living, harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Management styles, Special People, work-life balance, , , , , , , ,

I keep checking the mirror to see if I still LOOK like me, because I sure as shootin’ don’t feel like me! I should be running around , crying, ranting, chewing my fingers to the bone, but I’m not. I feel strangely calm with just flutters every now and then of mild panic, quickly subsumed by this… “peace.”

I highlight this because it is common to a few situations close loved-ones have found themselves in lately as well. They have gone through horrendously stressful times, struggling with a life-changing decision, only to find that having taken the leap this same strange peace or calm descends. Other strong forces (sadness, grief, regret) can still take their toll, but, for me, the knowledge that matters have come to the only conclusion they could and should have, make the rest of it bearable.

But I am very, very fortunate. This could all sound incredibly trite to others without the level of support and kindness I am blessed with. I may yet be typing another entry in this blog with one hand, while tearing lumps of my hair out by the roots, cursing myself for putting my own happiness before my duty as a wife, daughter and mother. But what use am I to anyone without my soul and what example would that set to my adult children.  “Yes kids, live your lives but don’t believe that you deserve happiness, or peace, or self-esteem, or joy, or hope.”  No, I don’t think so.

I remember when my children were born saying the “only” thing I wished for them was that they be happy, truly happy. Some friends of mine hoped their children would be doctors or dancers or successful….you get the picture.  At this stage of my life I look back and think my wish may just have been the most ambitious.

Teeny, Tiny Living

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I watched a really interesting program ( well the idea behind it was interesting, the presenters could be a bit much) about people in America selling their normal sized houses of approx.1500 sq feet, and opting instead for a mere 172 sq ft of living space. Their reasons for doing this may vary, but I am fascinated to see how they all manage this.

Last week it was a young couple with a three-year old child; difficult. But this company are amazing at utilising every possible square inch and creating the illusion of space and light.

Part of my interest was in the journey the couple had to go on with their most treasured possessions when faced with basically three laundry baskets for all of the clothes and, I think, three much smaller baskets for everything else they were allowed to keep.

Now, that is the way to de-clutter!

It’s a bit like the “If your house was on fire, what would you think important enough to rescue (apart from your family)” kind of argument.

What I have noticed in all of the participants so far is their sense of freedom. Their new, tiny home is a place of function, a space that works for them, as opposed to being a financial or physically demanding drain on resources.

Of course this is an extreme, but, nevertheless, it raises interesting questions on just how much personal space we feel we all need, even behind our own front doors.

Money, Money, Money

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I suppose this naturally follows on from last nights blog, but I have to wonder how, when I am happily de-cluttering and shedding a lot of the “brilliant buys” of my yester-years, I am still able to spend even more money on adjusting to the more minimal, no-fuss, modern look??

Now, for those of you that know me, you probably don’t wonder about that at all. You already know how easily I spend my own money, and have on occasion spent quite a bit of yours as well.(all in a good cause though)

But seriously, it is amazing just how expensive it is to have a house that looks as if it is almost empty! Your old country pine furniture just won’t do apparently ( according to all the best magazines) and you have to change to the super-sleek, high-gloss, no-visible-way-to-open-the-bloody-doors/drawers type of furniture. And the funny thing is, the more plastic-looking, basic, block type it is the higher the price. I think it’s another case of the Emporer’s new clothes and we are all afraid to call it for the racket it is.

Well, I am going to feel that fear!

Forget the “New Look” for my house; the “New Colours”, “New Fabrics”, “New” this, that and loads of the other. It’s my home, not a fashion accessory. Along with all the useless, unloved clutter, I am going to ditch a lot of the hype about how my home should look, and instead enjoy the feeling of warmth, safety and sanctuary.

And now, as more and more clutter disappears I can fall in love again with my country pine and wait for it to be the “New Look” again. I’ll be way ahead of you. Cutting edge; that’s me!