Words

Where would we be without them?

Would we have developed another way of communicating, a better way possibly?

I often wonder because of the number of times when words, quite literally, fail me. It’s ironic how, with the vast increase in the amount of them flying through the atmosphere, whether by e-mail, mobile phones, Twitter, Facebook and all the squillions of other platforms, we all seem to understand less and less.

People could be speaking a different language going by how often I find myself completely lost as to what others want, need or expect from me.

“Oh, but I meant…..”, “Well, I hoped you would know………” , “But you should have guessed…….”

So, have words lost their meaning? Or are we just weary of them?

“A bad workman blames his tools,” they say and perhaps this is never more true than in this case. Words need more than a mouth to speak them; they need ears to hear them and a brain to process them, but, most importantly, a heart to understand them.

Ego, anger and resentment stifle them; twisting their meaning and distorting their sound. And yet in that joyous space, where love, kindness and warmth flow, they lift us out of the blackest of depths and transport us to our own kind of heaven.

Words can move nations to war then bring them back from the brink; they can break hearts, then make them whole again.

It’s Been A Funny Old Year…….So Far

I was lying in bed, thinking back over the first eight months of this year……and wow, how things have changed. The problems I had this time last year are as nothing now beside the events that came after; the dark and dismal summer seeming like a reflection of things going on around me.

It has been life-changing, but, as with most “big things”, good can come out of the ashes. CAN.

Because, as with most things, it’s about choice isn’t it?

I was talking to one of my wonderful friends last night and she told me about a “mantra” she has started using that has helped her enormously, in fact “freeing” her to enjoy where she is here and now.

” I am here, NOT because I need to be, but because I want to be.”

I watched her face as she told me about it and she is right. She looks happier, more empowered and certainly more in charge of her own destiny than I have seen her, possibly ever.

Life does change and some of those changes stink.

So what do you do?  You choose.

Make sure it’s what you want.

Seeing Is Believing….

And enjoying, and laughing and crying and hugging and touching.

A friend has just posted a video on Facebook highlighting something I have discussed before, but feel it needs saying again and again.

100’s+ “friends” on Facebook does not an embrace or belly-laugh or memory bank deposit make!

It should be a supplement to our friendships, not the soul source or mainstay of them.

I had a brilliant non-shopping, shopping day( yes that was deliberate) with a friend of mine yesterday and we laughed again at the days out we have had in the past with her sister; experiences I will recall with warmth and pleasure to the day I die. I want many, many more days like this; many more good memories to fall back on when things get tough.

Okay, we all have busy lives, but busy doing what?

Get your priorities right!

Get off your ass and get out to SEE your friends, your family, feel the air around you and pause long enough to let it sink in, re-charging your spirit with the joy it can be to be alive.

Teeny Weeny Talk

I was just reading an article on small talk and the article’s author “David Roberts. vox.com” describes how he really hates it. Perhaps it’s a male/female thing, but I can usually manage the hairdresser/nail technician/beauty parlour stuff; “Any holidays planned?” “Going out anywhere at the weekend?” kind of thing. I feel quite sorry for them having to listen to some of the crap to be honest.

What I don’t get, and completely boils my brain, is the minutiae, that stuff that is so small and insignificant most folk don’t even notice they do it, the teeny, tiny stuff, being broadcast to the world at such a relentless pace and seemingly without end!!

And before you go there , don’t blame it all on the kids of to-day. I have seen men and women, young, middle-aged and old enough to know better, battering away on their keyboards, telling the world and it’s mother how they have just cleaned their teeth, brushed their hair, emptied the bin, put the dinner on……blah, blah, blah.

Okay, okay, I’m a bitch!! What harm are they doing? Leave the poor souls alone, I hear you say.

Well, you see, my point is this; if they put the keyboard down and looked outside of themselves and their immediate vicinity for just a moment or three, they may well find something of genuine interest to them, something rewarding, something that may help fill that void in their lives that drives them to record the dross and miss out the big stuff, their lives, passing them by.

Remember that well-known saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”?

Well, don’t record it either!

At Last…But What Happens Now?

So Justice Lowell Goddard has taken her seat at the “Inquiry Into Child Sex Abuse”,(CSA Inquiry) and at long last. Although there will be annual interim reports they do not expect to finish before 2020. The details, the reports, the appointments, it goes on and on; it is a huge undertaking, but if it results in a system that ensures the protection of our children, then so be it.

If.

But what happens now? What happens in the meantime?

This must all seem pie-in-the-sky to the kids suffering at the hands of abusers right now, with no sign of a safe haven. Charities try to pick up the slack, but when you bear in mind that out of approximately 4500 calls made to ChildLine every day only 2500 get answered due to lack of funding, then surely the government owes it to our children to pick up the tab for the shortfall.

Can we stand by and allow a child, who has worked up the courage to call for help, to go unheard? Isn’t that the most basic ask of anyone wronged; to be heard?

I am not trying to detract from the need for or the potential of this CSA Inquiry, but 2020 is a long way away for too many.

I Am Staggered….

As I have just read on FaceBook ( so it must be true, every last word of it!!) of a proposed “Erotic Festival” to be held at Narrow Water, Carlingford, in beautiful County Down, Northern Ireland, the ancestral home of the Hall family since 1670.

I have checked and, yes, this is an article from The Belfast Telegraph so, again, it must be true.

“The former Lord Lieutenant of county Down and one of the venue’s trustees, Sir William Hall, has voiced outrage at the prospect.

Sir William said: “Lewdness and lasciviousness will be the theme of this occasion.” (Belfast Telegraph)

Oh but you needn’t worry Sir William. Apparently organisers have said that sex acts will take place only within the privacy of a tent!! So there you go, nothing to worry about.

“John Larkin QC has said, “Sex toys will be on sale, talks will be given which may purport to be serious but the real object is the giving of sexual titillation and gratification to the participants in the festival.

“Nudity and acts of sexual intercourse will be prevalent.” (Belfast Telegraph)

I must stress that according to the article none of the Hall family are involved in organising this festival. The organisers are in fact, Bliss Ireland.

I swear to you, I am staggered!!

I feel like I have gone off into an alternative dimension. I am no prude, by any stretch of the imagination, but I would never have imagined any such event taking place in this country, and certainly not in my lifetime. I’m starting to get a picture of thousands of people turning up for a look-see, but all in disguise!

This would be a very good time to own a fancy-dress shop.

But on a more serious note, the people of this area of our beautiful country have had to live with the constant association to a huge terrorist attack in 1979.

Now they have to get used to being associated with hosting the country’s first “Erotic” Festival and an industry that perpetuates the subjugation of women.

Oh lucky them!

Our Children

I hadn’t intended to do another blog tonight, but I have just watched one of those short films on FaceBook that made me think about the subject matter of my earlier blogs.

In the film a child is complaining( some might say whining) at her mum. The mother attempts to still the child and this resonated with me.

Is this when we start teaching our children about negativity? Is this when we start to instill the “glass half empty” mentality?

“Don’t go out in the rain, you’ll get wet.”

“Don’t speak out, people may be listening.”

Don’t, don’t, don’t!

Well then, they won’t, won’t, won’t.

They won’t try in case they fail, they won’t laugh in case they offend, they won’t ask for help for fear of anger.

Children are sponges for everything around them; their environment, their family and their friends are key in influencing their outlook on life.

Why not break the chain of negative reactions in a child’s life somewhere?

Show the children you know the good in life, the positive in life and invest in the healthy mental attitudes of tomorrows adults.

And Finally…….

Just reading an article that explains how the rising temperatures in Australia are causing genetically male bearded dragon lizards to be born female.

Oooh, poor things and yes, I do understand this has serious implications, although the article goes on to say that these sex-reversed lizards can go on to reproduce, and even have more offspring than their genetically female counterparts.

Thing is, the previous news report tells us how Scotland could be in for a ground frost tomorrow morning and even some wet snow or sleet in some areas.

So get the thermals out again guys or the bearded dragons might not be the only species changing from male to female.

Aaah, the great British summer.

Mmmm, I Wonder…

I wonder if anyone actually enjoys spending time around those who wear their negativity loud and proud, who feel the rest of us owe it to them to bolster their self-esteem and “make them happy.”( as if ). How delusional do you have to be not to notice people recoil, break off conversation when you approach or wait until you are not quite out of earshot before uttering,

“What is it with her?”

Yes, it takes all sorts and around Christmas time I wrote a blog called “You get more with sugar than with salt,” where I talked about a man I had worked for in the not so distant past. He believed (and still does) that you get far more from folk by treating them fairly and with respect, a viewpoint I completely agree with and which contributed to such a positive working environment that going to work became a real pleasure. He gave off positive energy (most of the time) and usually got positive back.

Now, I would never pretend to be a modern-day Pollyanna, permanently cheerful and constantly “glad” about life, as you will see from my earlier blog in fact. But I have to wonder, as I said, about some of the joyless, life-sucking and toxic individuals I have encountered lately and what drives their mind-set.

I would love to think you could hold up a mirror to these folk, a mirror with the power to reflect back upon them all that they normally cast outwards, that they could then see and learn and understand.

Is it ever too late? Is it a learned behaviour or are some just born this way?

It may be loneliness, unhappiness, bitterness or disappointment. Who knows. Sadly it usually ends up, “Who cares”. I suppose our response depends heavily on our connection to them.

At what point, when I would find myself alone, without a friend or family, would I wonder,

“Was it something I said?”

Giving It Up.

I have read so many self-help books, listened to so many experts and attended so many seminars, all aimed at helping us give up the struggle, the stress and the negative thoughts and behaviour that marks our lives.

And I get it! Honestly, I do. Let’s face it, the vast majority of it is plain, good old common sense.

But, what it is NOT, is easy; hence the enormous quantity and re-hashing of similar information.

But, no-body said it would, or should, be.

What it is, is worth it.

Each time I hand over a particular stressor to my life’s path, I gain a relief and sense of peace I would not swap for any amount of money or possession.

I am where I am supposed to be, for whatever reason, and I will find happiness here and now.

I have lived with more stuff, more money, more ego, more fear, more stress.

Giving up the fear of losing something you never “owned” in the first place is liberating, and underlines that well-known saying,

“Less is more.”