I had a lot of stuff in mind for my next post but the horror of this mornings events have to take priority.
My deepest sympathies to the families of the dead and prayers for the survivors.
All posts by boogie53
Mmmm……
Now that was a day I wouldn’t be in too much of a hurry to repeat!
You know the kind; you get up in the morning, full of plans and positive energy and then watch as they disappear like the early morning mist; replaced with one mess after another. Are these kinds of days sent to remind us that we are not the masters of our own destiny, that fate can come up at any time and bite you on the ass?
Well bollocks to that! Okay, so things happened to-day that were way out of my control, but what I held on to was MY control, my reaction to each of these stressors and I am taking comfort from that. How much worse could any of it have been had I “lost it” along the way.
Tired and philosophical is okay; exhausted, emotionally drained and angry at life I can well do without thanks.
Just a Quickie….
Just went for a walk, a mile and a half, and it was 9.45 pm when I started, and guess what….my head and heart were in sync!
My head knew it was good for me and now that I’m home again, my heart is singing.
It’s all good.
x
Heart Vs Head..The Constant Battle
In responding to a previous comment, it highlighted something that writing this blog has brought into sharp focus; the constant inner battle between my instinct and my intellect.
I understand a lot of what makes me feel better, helps make me a better version of who I am, and the people and processes that enrich my life. I can discuss, at length, the ideal mental attitude to help me achieve both physical and emotional harmony.( or a move in that direction anyway)
So, WHY, would someone please explain to me, does this process go into short-circuit somewhere in my body?
Can our heads and our hearts ever work in “sync” or are they mutually exclusive processes?
During a deep and meaningful conversation with a good friend we discussed protecting our “souls”, the essence of who we are, and how much we risk when we love someone or something. So, if my head were in control what would I do? Isolate myself? Put a ring of steel around my heart so I didn’t suffer hurt or humiliation?
My instinct yells “NO”! With every pore of my being, and accepting of the strife and stress that comes with it, NO!
Physical and emotional harmony are wonderful ideals; something to aspire to and work towards, but love and life are worth the risks.
Aaaahhhhh………
That’s the sigh of relief that comes with a sense of accomplishment. Okay, so I took a bit of a detour from my plan of getting the workie bits out of the way before I spent some time just suiting myself. I had a lovely relaxing bath, listened to my music and sang along to my hearts content. ( bet you are glad you couldn’t hear that bit. You should be).
But what’s it all about, honestly? I was nearly ready to go out and clean the dammed windows in the middle of the night rather than tackle that lousy report. And, you know, when I did actually start I had it sorted in, at the most, 15 minutes! Why oh why did I let that hang over me, like a huge axe about to fall, for the entire weekend.
Happily I am still in a very positive mood, but I am determined to stop allowing things like this to have so much power over me. I will take the control back from places, people or stuff that threatens to dominate me or my life.
No-one can break me without my co-operation.
It’s That Time Again…
Okay, so it’s Sunday evening again. So what! I laugh in the face of adversity. Ha ha ha!!
Fair enough, the butterflies are boogieing around my tummy as I write, but I am not giving in to the normal gut-wrenching dread of previous weeks.
Firstly I will take a bit of control; complete my report for my a.m. meeting, put my clothes out for the morning and look over the training material I will be using tomorrow.
And then, I will be nice to me with a lovely, relaxing bath with my new iPod ( full of music my family all hate, brilliant!), and some of the gorgeous goodies I was lucky enough to receive for Christmas.
I am trying so hard to put into practice the ” Choose your mood” part of my earlier blogs. It’s very difficult and this is one of my very big issues(the Sunday night thing), but you know what; whether my mood is good or bad this IS Sunday and I can’t change that. Tomorrow morning I go into work because I need to earn a living, and I can’t change that either.
So, like us all, I have choices. I am choosing to do whatever it is I have to with the best grace, mental attitude and generosity of spirit I can possibly muster.
Well, all things being equal !!
Good News Anyone? Please.
An item of news came up about 45 minutes ago that aroused my interest so I went onto the news website to read more about it. I don’t often view the “news” like this. I normally listen to or watch it on the TV as I do other things like get ready for work or housework etc.
Flicking through page after page was awful. When you listen to the various items on television, or read the ticker-tape type of commentary along the bottom of the screen, the huge volume of tragic events around the world does not strike you as much. (well, not me anyway).
Perhaps, as I read through the site the attached images of the victims or their grief-stricken families resonated more deeply because I had more time to take it in; time you don’t have with a TV screen before it moves on to the next catastrophe.
The number of really major new stories that seem to constantly be pushed off the “front page” by the latest “breaking” item leaves me feeling guilty for having forgotten their story so soon. We may stop talking about it, but, for the people involved, the nightmare continues.
I actually searched for “good news stories” but with dismal results. Not too many “And Finally” type topics that used to end the Nine O’Clock news when I was young to lift the mood of the viewers. No, the horror of it all is given to us without any sugar-coating. Yet I fear we are becoming so desensitized by the amount of graphic information and images we take in, day in and day out, that we will miss something; something hugely important with long-reaching consequences.
So, if that politician was right, and you bury bad news on a day where bad news is in abundance then I wonder, “What have we missed?”
And I’m Feeling Good……………..
Maybe I should be singing this line? Mmmmm, maybe not as I couldn’t carry a note in a bucket !
Anyway, I am feeling sooooooo good. Took positive steps to do something to lose a bit of weight, had a catch up with a good friend I have not seen in a while and bought a lovely new RED lipstick when I was out shopping with one of my lovely daughters. What more could a girlie (okay middle aged woman) ask for?
Oh, except the ladies at the make-up counter were absolutely brilliant and we had a real hoot while spending some( not too much) money. And, also had a lot of laughs with some lovely people at the slimming club. And, found some common ground with the lady in the coffee shop…………..You getting the picture?
I wanted to have a good day to-day and I DID. It could have gone the other way at several of points throughout the day, but I chose the positive and the calm. I am writing this down as much for my benefit as anyone else. Hopefully the next time my shoulders slump due to the weight of the world pressing down on me I will think of this lovely day and cast the blackness aside.
Choose your mood.
It’s a New Year So I Resolve To……………………
Mmmmmm, so many options; lose weight, spend more time with my family, spend more time with my friends, spend less money.
The New Year gives us a chance to wipe the slate clean, start afresh and leave the failed resolutions of 2014 far behind. But why deal with life’s challenges in yearly chunks? Why hang on to our “failures” for even a moment longer than we need to process what it is we need to take from them to learn and move on?
I want to wake up each day with a determination to do the best I am capable of for that day; not a week, a fortnight or a month, just that day.
I want to give no energy whatsoever to the toxic, joy-sapping individuals that have occupied too much valuable head-space in the past, but concentrate instead on people and events that lighten my soul and reinforce how truly beautiful life can be. Even writing this down is helping me lose weight; the awful, all-consuming weight of a heavy heart.
See, I’m smiling now.
Friend or Foe…..or Just Family?
Well, have you all had your quota of loving, family meals and together time for the year? Are you still bathing in the warm glow of tenderness and family feeling? Or, perhaps, like 99% of the rest of us, you embrace the chance of getting back to work and some semblance of normality.
After spending my formative years watching Hollywood’s take on Christmas it’s little wonder I feel like I constantly fall some way short of the saccharine-sweet depiction of the festive season being pumped out of the “Dream-Factory”. And that’s what it is, a dream, a myth! Yet so many of my female friends expend a huge amount of energy trying to create this magical, fantastical image of Christmas.
But here’s the funny part. I don’t see much of either my brother or sister. We all live in different countries and, for many silly reasons, we don’t particularly get on. And yet….if for any reason they needed me, my help, or one of my kidneys, they would have it. They are my family and, as far as I’m concerned, that’s what being family means.
Okay, I accept that we make accommodations at this time of year; we compromise for the greater good with a definite end-time in sight, and that is fine. But to spend time with folk I would not even wish to break breath with at any other time, no! That is a step too far.
If Christmas is a time of “Love” and “Kindness”, then start with loving and being kind to yourself and do it your way.
When you watch all those great, classical, lovey-dovey Christmas movies just keep one thing in mind; they were also great actors!
thefellowshipofthevagina 