Category Archives: Calm and Relaxation

Life By The “Indirect” Route

Just watched an advert on TV for a new show about a guy, Sean, running from John O’ Groats to Lands End by the most indirect route, totalling 1000 miles. ( check out runwithsean.com )

Mmmm, I thought, I fancy trying to live by the “Indirect Route.”

Of course I couldn’t do this all of the time ( God forbid, the world might fall apart if the washing got behind ) , but just every now and again I would like to get from waking up back to bedtime without thinking about time and energy efficiency, and take the more meandering path from morning to night. I would like to set off to somewhere, but perhaps not get there because I found a wonderful distraction along the way.

I suppose this is just another way of expressing the “Stop and Smell the Roses” train of thought, but I liked this guy’s way of putting it.

Even for a weekend I am going to try to throw away my “Life Sat Nav” and wander down the many paths less travelled.

What About Saying What You Feel??

No-one can stop us from feeling what we feel, but how about saying what we feel? Is that OUR right, all of the time?

I don’t believe so, because it depends on the WHY. Why are we choosing that moment to speak what is in our minds? Is it to exercise our right to free speech or is it to hurt, to put another down under the camouflage of ” Well I was just telling you the truth.” And whose truth is it anyway? It’s theirs, and their truth at that moment, regardless of however little knowledge they have of whatever is going on.

And then there is the flip side to this,( as with most things in life), because how many people really, REALLY want the truth; yours or anyone else’s. How many times have folk said to me, ” Now, tell me honestly,” or “I need you to be straight with me,” and I look at them and think, ” Who are you trying to kid. You want affirmation of your own thoughts/actions and couldn’t give a hoot for my opinion if it is going to clash with your own.”

So, I will temper my response by how close these people are to me, how important the matter appears to be and how genuine their need for my version of the truth is. But at no time will I feel imbued with some God-given right to wound another soul with what I feel is the “honest truth” on any subject or issue.

But I apologise. I started this blog about ” feelings” which is not always about truth. I still think the same applies though; as long as you do no harm in expressing your thoughts then, there should be no problem. And to see both the good and the bad aspects of this subject we need look no further than “Facebook” , “”Twitter” et al.

Modern media has such incredible capacity and power for good, and yet, in the hands of those who would, in the past, have been no more than village gossips, they can now go global with their determination to tell us all, just what they feel, about anything and everything.

What we need now are filters! Big ones and built-in to our brains, with off buttons for bullshit, whinging, bullying etc and an “On” switch for all the good things in life.

Say What You See!

Do you remember that phrase from that really annoying TV quiz? Well I do, but I want to talk about it  with a slightly different twist.

You know, you’re upset about something or someone and you think to yourself, “If I go quiet then they will notice and realise I am unhappy and ask me why and tease it out of me and then comfort me and make me feel better.” 
In your dreams, and just for the record, somebody else’ nightmare!
Life is not the movies! You don’t stand, enigmatically, looking out of the window, whilst clutching at the silk drapes, a lace hanky dabbing at your nose and then have the hero somehow read your mind, come over to you, putting a strong arm around you and tell you everything will be all right.
REAL LIFE =  You standing looking out of the window while the “hero” shouts, “Where are my underpants?”  His version of reading your mind? ” She’s being a moody bitch again.” 
Sorry men; cheap shot; true, but cheap! Anyway, this isn’t really about male vs female. It’s about us all.
None of us have the time or energy to figure out what’s going on in the mind of those around us. If you’re anything like me, I can’t even figure out my own mind. So, when we are faced with someone being quiet, withdrawn, not speaking to us, we don’t immediately think, ” Oh, maybe X has happened and she/he needs me to do Y.”
Do we bollocks! No! We think, ” There they go, being a moody cow/git again.”  We Say What We See.
So ask; ask for help or understanding, whatever it is you need. When people find out your “mood” is not their fault they are usually very relieved and happy to console or listen; but ask. Give others their comfort zones and you may be amazed with what you get in return. 

Colouring In Books for Grown Ups? Really?

Just read an article in TheWeek.co.uk claiming half of the top ten best-selling books on Amazon are actually colouring in books for adults and this is the new craze for us grown ups.

It mentions groups of people getting together for coffee and a colouring session and how they are disconnected from technology whilst doing this, therefore they are relaxing, Yes? No! The next thing they talk about is how they are concentrating on staying within the lines and I can feel my adrenalin levels rising.

One of the better aspects for me about getting older is saying “bollocks” to staying inside any lines, on a page or anywhere else. I have this image of being back in school with the little boy beside me shoving my elbow because his picture was not as neat as mine. That was the end of a not so beautiful friendship!

Now, to each their own, but I can think loads of more stress relieving pastimes than revisiting that part of my childhood.