Category Archives: Our World

But It’s Not Fair

harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, Real Despair, work-life balance, , , , , ,

I’m talking the talk, but not walking the walk. I understand what is happening and how little control I have over the desire of others to inflict pain and hurt, but the child in me wants to yell, through streaming, stinging tears,

“It’s not fair!”

But to what end?  “Are they bovered?” as the great Catherine Tate would ask. Of course they bloody aren’t! And this is the thing that pulls me back to reality.

I have ( am still ) running the full kit and kaboodle of beating myself up for the appalling behaviour of others, of it coming to a point I have spent years trying to avoid by working harder, doing longer hours and going so many extra miles I have lapped the world, but to no avail. If someone is THAT determined to do you down , they will. I feel I have let my family down, exposing them to possible financial hardship, let my clients down, set my young adult offspring a bad example, and so on and so on.

And it is ridiculous, completely ridiculous! Not one of those I love, and love me back, is judging me this way. Only me!

So what can I do?

Well, I will dig as deep as I can, as I must, to find my backbone, to find the ballsy, courageous woman I know is hiding within the quivering-lipped, gibbering wreck that devoured me five days ago.  I will be my own best friend, acknowledging my strengths, cutting myself some slack and kindly urging myself back into the real, functioning world.  I will look outside of myself, outside the tiny sphere that has become my world over recent days, and seek out solutions and new possibilities.

Something wonderful is waiting for me and the only way I can get there and realise its potential, is by taking this desperatley difficult journey. It is frightening, terrifying in fact, but we all fear change; even if we know where we are now is awful we instinctively fear leaving the familiar.

I hope you all find the courage you need for your convictions and the strength and support to see them through.

Oscar, The Good, The Bad and The Beautiful.

50 Shades, Diets, Media, Our World, Porn, positive thinking, Special People, , , , ,

Congratulations to Eddie Redmayne on his recent success at the Oscars, even more so when you look at the competition he was up against.

The amazing potential an award like this can bring to highlighting the plight of people suffering with not only Motor Neuron Disease, but other physically and emotionally crippling ailments, is huge. I wonder how many people had never even considered the life Prof. Stephen Hawking had before this illness wreaked its havoc on him. Do they look at him differently now?

Will they stop and think on the next time they talk over someone in a wheelchair like they are not there, or  s p e a k  v e r y  s l o w l y  in the company of an elderly person. Don’t think so.

One film cannot turn the tide all on its own, but it can shine a light on how much we all need to look beyond the outer packaging of our souls, at what actually counts in a person, and the movie industry shows us the flip side of that right now. In ” 50 Shades,” we have women, all over the world, ready to surrender all common sense and dignity, and why? Because Christian Grey is “gorgeous”, of course!

And this is all celebrated on an evening where every aspect of the actors/actresses appearance is scrutinised to the tiniest detail; where not a smidgen of fat or less-than-perfect skin is on show. Regardless of their acting abilities,if any of these lads or lasses couldn’t cut it on the red carpet they might be waiting a while on the next script dropping through the letter box.

I don’t believe Hollywood is about to change its beauty obsessed culture any time soon, but the rest of us need to wise up about it all. Real folk don’t come with air-brushing!

My “Field of Dreams”

Life Stressors, Our World, Special People, The Weekend, , , , , , ,

I’m talking about the 1989 movie of course and I forget, every now and again, just how much of an impression it left on me all those years ago. I have a habit of repeating the famous “Build it and he will come” line when faced with a challenge that requires a leap of faith, becoming a mantra for me.

I have just watched it again and it never fails to leave me with tears streaming down my face, but much more importantly, it leaves me with a great sense of peace and a renewed desire to chase my own dreams, to believe that, with enough self-belief, anything is possible; even finding peace with the loss of those you love most.

This movie should be required viewing for anyone living too much in the harshness of reality, having banished their childhood dreams to the long and distant past and closed off their heart to hope.

And, on a more earthly note, a very sweet looking Kevin Costner, the dazzling eyes of Ray Liotta and the honey-rich tones of James Earl Jones do no harm either!

Teeny, Tiny Living

Easy Living, Life Stressors, Our World, work-life balance, , ,

I watched a really interesting program ( well the idea behind it was interesting, the presenters could be a bit much) about people in America selling their normal sized houses of approx.1500 sq feet, and opting instead for a mere 172 sq ft of living space. Their reasons for doing this may vary, but I am fascinated to see how they all manage this.

Last week it was a young couple with a three-year old child; difficult. But this company are amazing at utilising every possible square inch and creating the illusion of space and light.

Part of my interest was in the journey the couple had to go on with their most treasured possessions when faced with basically three laundry baskets for all of the clothes and, I think, three much smaller baskets for everything else they were allowed to keep.

Now, that is the way to de-clutter!

It’s a bit like the “If your house was on fire, what would you think important enough to rescue (apart from your family)” kind of argument.

What I have noticed in all of the participants so far is their sense of freedom. Their new, tiny home is a place of function, a space that works for them, as opposed to being a financial or physically demanding drain on resources.

Of course this is an extreme, but, nevertheless, it raises interesting questions on just how much personal space we feel we all need, even behind our own front doors.

Shame On You “Daily Mail”

Life Stressors, Media, Our World, women, , , ,

Front page of to-days “Daily Mail” is a close up of the back of a womans head, showing…….dah, dah, dah, dah… GREY HAIRS!

But, that isn’t news enough so, on page 7 they show Kate, the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge, in a full length picture and then re-print the shocking photograph of ( yes, it was HER head on the front page) her seemingly grey roots. Imagine. How dare she. For God’s sake leave the poor woman alone.

WHY? Really, why is this news? Especially as you have to go to the right hand column of page 10 to find a half-assed coverage of a child who died as a result of abuse, and how 18 opportunities to save this boy were missed.

Why don’t you go the whole hog of hypocrisy and misogyny “Daily Mail and David Wilkes” ( the author of this article), and have a centre spread discussing modern womans lack of self-esteem and the increase in plastic surgery?

I have continued to buy this paper long after friends and family fell out of love with its ethics. Well, I’m done!

The Absolute Right To Free Speech

Our World, , ,

So a meeting to discuss “Art, blasphemy and the freedom of expression”, is the latest casualty in the terrorist activities of Islamic extremists. One person is dead and three injured, though looking at the photographs it is amazing there were not more people killed or maimed.

All of us need to come out now, and demand the right for all,  to “Free Speech”, without fear of murder and mayhem. We may not always like what we hear, but without it we have dictatorships and lives ruled by those with the biggest sticks.

Women will lose everything our predecessors fought so hard for and whatever version of equality we have to-day, all of us will lose the right to take to the streets in protest; should it be about fracking, a local hospital closure or whatever flag is flying in your town/city.

We all need to look at how we can contribute to the continuation of this most basic right, whilst ensuring others are allowed to do the same.

The Little Darlings……….

Children, Life Stressors, Our World, women, work-life balance, , ,

Go forth and multiply folks. Well, that’s what Pope Francis is saying.

He says that children are a blessing and, having been fortunate enough to have three of them, at times ( most times) they are. I love them dearly ( very dearly, they cost a bloody fortune), but, even though it no longer applies to me directly, I take issue with anyone telling others not only to have children, but that NOT having them is selfish! And all this from a man who doesn’t have any!

I wonder where the Pope will be when the rearing of these little “blessings” is going on.

Apparently the Italian birth rate is falling so perhaps he feels this speech will move couples all over the country to spend the weekend in bed. Responsible contraception should be applauded and the rights of those to not have/want any children is exactly that, their right!

I have known women that have had children, only to admit later they never actually wanted any, but felt they had no choice in the matter. It didn’t always end well.

Now I could never imagine my life without them, and mine have enriched the lives of not only my husband and me, but also those of their grandparents whom they adored. However that was me and that was very much our choice.

But, even though they were all very much wanted and loved to the nth degree, bringing up children is the most difficult thing I am ever likely to do.

I urge people to consider carefully before leaving that pill in its packet or that condom on the bedside locker.

Naked Women and Prostitutes

Our World, women,

Taken from a report on the Dominique Strauss-Kahn trial.

“His lawyer, Henri Leclerc, said at the time: “In these circumstances one isn’t always clothed, and I challenge you to tell the difference between a prostitute naked and any other woman naked.”

Now maybe I’m a bit slow here but hasn’t one lot of these women normally emptied your wallet before getting naked?

And before my husband makes any smart-assed comment on this,

“What’s yours is mine darling…or was anyway”

Yet Another Own Goal You Tits!

Our World, women,

I am actually loathe to comment on this for fear of giving the oxygen of publicity to these women but I’m so mad I have to sound off.

So “Femen” have demonstrated as Dominique Strauss-Kahn goes into court on charges of “aggravated pimping.” And how did they do this? By putting forward a well thought out press release? Highlighting other examples of this kind of behaviour or similar abuses of women?

No!! They got their tits out!!! Oh, sorry, I nearly forgot; with flowers in their hair!

I went on to their website in a useless attempt to find ANY kind of reasoning behind this but as far as I can see this is a bloody ego trip for a bunch of stupid……TITS!

They claim as their goal ” Complete victory over patriarchy.” Really?

Well put your kit on again, look at what is really going on out there and stop taking the easy option!

The King is Dead, Long Live the King.

Our World, women, ,

I have been watching with interest the controversy over the response from the western world to the death of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. The idea of Louise Mensch tweeting that Cameron should “Fuck off” initially made me laugh, but then rankled, going back again to the knee jerk reaction that benefits no-one and just gets people’s names in the headlines once more.

I agree Saudi Arabia has a very long way to go on equal rights for women, but 2015 is the first time women there will not only be able to vote, but to stand for election as well. It’s not everything, but it is a start. The recently deceased King Abdullah paved the way for this back in 2011.

Changing the ideology and way of life of centuries will not happen overnight in Saudi Arabia; any more than it did here. We are very quick to condemn the speed of change in other countries, but I would love to understand the reason behind the still howling gaps in career opportunities between men and women right here, right now.

In the past I have backed off from ever considering myself a “feminist”; being so sick of some of the nonsense associated with it. However I looked up the definition of the word earlier and realise it is a completely morally decent aspiration and one I am happy to identify with.

“Quel surprise” to all of you that know me! ( I don’t think).