Life Is A Lottery..

Easy Living, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Money, Our World, Wealth, work-life balance, , , ,

I had to laugh at the retired couple who won £53 million on the lottery and thought it was an April Fools joke! The husband explains how he had to wait for four hours to tell his wife as she was away, helping at an OAP’s lunch. It’s a really lovely story, but I can’t help thinking how differently I would react if I had just matched the winning numbers myself.

Well, if I actually survived the shock, I don’t think I could manage to wait four hours to tell anyone, honestly!

I remember sitting at the lunch table with a bunch of my female friends and discussing just such an occasion and how we would all react. I thought for a moment or two and then reckoned, depending on the amount of the win( and £53 million qualifies) that I would come into work, stark naked, save for a pair of very high red patent shoes and, as for my resignation letter, well….. I daren’t tell you where I would hide that!  It put one of my friends right off her lunch!

I’m sure there are a lot of folk who think that is too much money for anyone to win. Well, not me! Where is the issue? If you have too much money and are so afraid it is going to corrupt you; for one thing don’t do the bloody lottery in the first place and, secondly, give away anything you don’t want or need. There are so many good causes out there that would be more than happy to take some of it off your hands and sooth your conscience.

As for not knowing who your “real” friends are? They are the same ones you have always had, so, keeping that in mind, just share the love. Surely the real joy in having an amount of money like that drop into your lap is the happiness and good you can bring to the lives of others.

Money is not the root of all evil, but the greed for it is.

Hi There..

harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Real Despair, Special People, , , , , , , , ,

Here I am, back again and very glad to be so.

We all see the good and bad in people in our everyday lives, but usually to a more mundane extent than I have witnessed this last few weeks. I have already written about finding who your true friends really are, when it really counts and your back is against the wall.

Well, very sadly, a remarkably good, kind and much-loved person died last week and I attended their very moving funeral, a service full of love and support for the surviving family and friends. What was mentioned time and again was this persons love for life, right up to the end, their lack of bitterness at the cancer that was taking their life, way too early, and their loving thoughts for those they were leaving behind. What this individual and their wonderful family faced was awful, not deliberate or in any way avoidable, but completely life-changing for all concerned. Yet, despite the palpable sadness of loss, the overwhelming feeling in the chapel was of love for a life well-lived.

Now, I have always had an issue with that certain meanness of spirit I have found in some people throughout my life, the kind of people who take joy in the misery or misfortune of others, seemingly begrudging folk the air they breathe, but, standing in that chapel all I could think was of the total futility and waste of time it is to spend even one precious second of my life carrying anger or hurt in my heart at the actions of others.  It changes nothing and that burden weighs heavy, leaving no room there for love and affecting my ability to take joy in the rest of my life.

So I will take some of that positive energy from the way this good person both led his life and faced his death and use it to drive the fear and negativity from my mind and from my soul.

Thankfully, kind, loving and warm people still vastly out-number the shitty ones.

But It’s Not Fair

harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Our World, Real Despair, work-life balance, , , , , ,

I’m talking the talk, but not walking the walk. I understand what is happening and how little control I have over the desire of others to inflict pain and hurt, but the child in me wants to yell, through streaming, stinging tears,

“It’s not fair!”

But to what end?  “Are they bovered?” as the great Catherine Tate would ask. Of course they bloody aren’t! And this is the thing that pulls me back to reality.

I have ( am still ) running the full kit and kaboodle of beating myself up for the appalling behaviour of others, of it coming to a point I have spent years trying to avoid by working harder, doing longer hours and going so many extra miles I have lapped the world, but to no avail. If someone is THAT determined to do you down , they will. I feel I have let my family down, exposing them to possible financial hardship, let my clients down, set my young adult offspring a bad example, and so on and so on.

And it is ridiculous, completely ridiculous! Not one of those I love, and love me back, is judging me this way. Only me!

So what can I do?

Well, I will dig as deep as I can, as I must, to find my backbone, to find the ballsy, courageous woman I know is hiding within the quivering-lipped, gibbering wreck that devoured me five days ago.  I will be my own best friend, acknowledging my strengths, cutting myself some slack and kindly urging myself back into the real, functioning world.  I will look outside of myself, outside the tiny sphere that has become my world over recent days, and seek out solutions and new possibilities.

Something wonderful is waiting for me and the only way I can get there and realise its potential, is by taking this desperatley difficult journey. It is frightening, terrifying in fact, but we all fear change; even if we know where we are now is awful we instinctively fear leaving the familiar.

I hope you all find the courage you need for your convictions and the strength and support to see them through.

The Calm Before The……..Whatever

Easy Living, harrassment, Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, Management styles, Special People, work-life balance, , , , , , , ,

I keep checking the mirror to see if I still LOOK like me, because I sure as shootin’ don’t feel like me! I should be running around , crying, ranting, chewing my fingers to the bone, but I’m not. I feel strangely calm with just flutters every now and then of mild panic, quickly subsumed by this… “peace.”

I highlight this because it is common to a few situations close loved-ones have found themselves in lately as well. They have gone through horrendously stressful times, struggling with a life-changing decision, only to find that having taken the leap this same strange peace or calm descends. Other strong forces (sadness, grief, regret) can still take their toll, but, for me, the knowledge that matters have come to the only conclusion they could and should have, make the rest of it bearable.

But I am very, very fortunate. This could all sound incredibly trite to others without the level of support and kindness I am blessed with. I may yet be typing another entry in this blog with one hand, while tearing lumps of my hair out by the roots, cursing myself for putting my own happiness before my duty as a wife, daughter and mother. But what use am I to anyone without my soul and what example would that set to my adult children.  “Yes kids, live your lives but don’t believe that you deserve happiness, or peace, or self-esteem, or joy, or hope.”  No, I don’t think so.

I remember when my children were born saying the “only” thing I wished for them was that they be happy, truly happy. Some friends of mine hoped their children would be doctors or dancers or successful….you get the picture.  At this stage of my life I look back and think my wish may just have been the most ambitious.

The Worst of Times………and More of The Same

harrassment, Life Stressors, Management styles, Real Despair, work-life balance, , , , , ,

It’s really hard to pin-point exactly how I feel, having discovered that a way of life I have loved will have to come to an end. And on top of that to find that, even though I have thought for a long time people could no longer surprise me, well, guess what, they can!

I often wonder where some folk get the energy and spare time in their lives to inflict such pain and malice on others and, sadly, the last eight months, in particular the last ten days, have left me breathless with incredulity at the levels people can sink to. I feel a heartache and sadness that, at one point, I honestly did not think I could bear.

BUT, life is never just black or white. It is, it seems, one of the many( even more than 50) shades of grey; because there they were, those that I love and love me back, lifting this weight from my shoulders, buoying me up with kindness, understanding and peace. They offer me strength not pity, comfort not criticism. And when self-doubt threatens to engulf me I look at the quality of those close to me and think; “I can’t be that bad when these people care about me.”

I still panic at what lies ahead, but I believe things happen in life for a reason, that this will take me down a path I am meant to travel and I will travel that path in hope.

Oscar, The Good, The Bad and The Beautiful.

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Congratulations to Eddie Redmayne on his recent success at the Oscars, even more so when you look at the competition he was up against.

The amazing potential an award like this can bring to highlighting the plight of people suffering with not only Motor Neuron Disease, but other physically and emotionally crippling ailments, is huge. I wonder how many people had never even considered the life Prof. Stephen Hawking had before this illness wreaked its havoc on him. Do they look at him differently now?

Will they stop and think on the next time they talk over someone in a wheelchair like they are not there, or  s p e a k  v e r y  s l o w l y  in the company of an elderly person. Don’t think so.

One film cannot turn the tide all on its own, but it can shine a light on how much we all need to look beyond the outer packaging of our souls, at what actually counts in a person, and the movie industry shows us the flip side of that right now. In ” 50 Shades,” we have women, all over the world, ready to surrender all common sense and dignity, and why? Because Christian Grey is “gorgeous”, of course!

And this is all celebrated on an evening where every aspect of the actors/actresses appearance is scrutinised to the tiniest detail; where not a smidgen of fat or less-than-perfect skin is on show. Regardless of their acting abilities,if any of these lads or lasses couldn’t cut it on the red carpet they might be waiting a while on the next script dropping through the letter box.

I don’t believe Hollywood is about to change its beauty obsessed culture any time soon, but the rest of us need to wise up about it all. Real folk don’t come with air-brushing!

My “Field of Dreams”

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I’m talking about the 1989 movie of course and I forget, every now and again, just how much of an impression it left on me all those years ago. I have a habit of repeating the famous “Build it and he will come” line when faced with a challenge that requires a leap of faith, becoming a mantra for me.

I have just watched it again and it never fails to leave me with tears streaming down my face, but much more importantly, it leaves me with a great sense of peace and a renewed desire to chase my own dreams, to believe that, with enough self-belief, anything is possible; even finding peace with the loss of those you love most.

This movie should be required viewing for anyone living too much in the harshness of reality, having banished their childhood dreams to the long and distant past and closed off their heart to hope.

And, on a more earthly note, a very sweet looking Kevin Costner, the dazzling eyes of Ray Liotta and the honey-rich tones of James Earl Jones do no harm either!

Teeny, Tiny Living

Easy Living, Life Stressors, Our World, work-life balance, , ,

I watched a really interesting program ( well the idea behind it was interesting, the presenters could be a bit much) about people in America selling their normal sized houses of approx.1500 sq feet, and opting instead for a mere 172 sq ft of living space. Their reasons for doing this may vary, but I am fascinated to see how they all manage this.

Last week it was a young couple with a three-year old child; difficult. But this company are amazing at utilising every possible square inch and creating the illusion of space and light.

Part of my interest was in the journey the couple had to go on with their most treasured possessions when faced with basically three laundry baskets for all of the clothes and, I think, three much smaller baskets for everything else they were allowed to keep.

Now, that is the way to de-clutter!

It’s a bit like the “If your house was on fire, what would you think important enough to rescue (apart from your family)” kind of argument.

What I have noticed in all of the participants so far is their sense of freedom. Their new, tiny home is a place of function, a space that works for them, as opposed to being a financial or physically demanding drain on resources.

Of course this is an extreme, but, nevertheless, it raises interesting questions on just how much personal space we feel we all need, even behind our own front doors.

Shame On You “Daily Mail”

Life Stressors, Media, Our World, women, , , ,

Front page of to-days “Daily Mail” is a close up of the back of a womans head, showing…….dah, dah, dah, dah… GREY HAIRS!

But, that isn’t news enough so, on page 7 they show Kate, the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge, in a full length picture and then re-print the shocking photograph of ( yes, it was HER head on the front page) her seemingly grey roots. Imagine. How dare she. For God’s sake leave the poor woman alone.

WHY? Really, why is this news? Especially as you have to go to the right hand column of page 10 to find a half-assed coverage of a child who died as a result of abuse, and how 18 opportunities to save this boy were missed.

Why don’t you go the whole hog of hypocrisy and misogyny “Daily Mail and David Wilkes” ( the author of this article), and have a centre spread discussing modern womans lack of self-esteem and the increase in plastic surgery?

I have continued to buy this paper long after friends and family fell out of love with its ethics. Well, I’m done!

Another Hat-Trick in Own Goals Ladies

positive thinking, women,

So Esther Mc.Vey was being pushed on whether or not she had ambitions to be Prime Minister some day. Eventually she admitted she would, adding.

“It’s about women, the motivation is women.”

No Esther, please! If you want to be Prime Minister it should be about doing your best for every man, woman and child in Britain. For goodness sake, take your bloody gender OUT of it!

Declaring her ambition may not have been the wisest political move, but, having taken the leap, don’t then justify it with the “It’s for the women,” card.