Tag Archives: coping with life

Good News Anyone? Please.

Our World

An item of news came up about 45 minutes ago that aroused my interest so I went onto the news website to read more about it. I don’t often view the “news” like this. I normally listen to or watch it on the TV as I do other things like get ready for work or housework etc.

Flicking through page after page was awful. When you listen to the various items on television, or read the ticker-tape type of commentary along the bottom of the screen, the huge volume of tragic events around the world does not strike you as much. (well, not me anyway).

Perhaps, as I read through the site the attached images of the victims or their grief-stricken families resonated more deeply because I had more time to take it in; time you don’t have with a TV screen before it moves on to the next catastrophe.

The number of really major new stories that seem to constantly be pushed off the “front page” by the latest “breaking” item leaves me feeling guilty for having forgotten their story so soon. We may stop talking about it, but, for the people involved, the nightmare continues.

I actually searched for “good news stories” but with dismal results. Not too many “And Finally” type topics that used to end the Nine O’Clock news when I was young to lift the mood of the viewers. No, the horror of it all is given to us without any sugar-coating. Yet I fear we are becoming so desensitized by the amount of graphic information and images we take in, day in and day out, that we will miss something; something hugely important with long-reaching consequences.

So, if that politician was right, and you bury bad news on a day where bad news is in abundance then I wonder, “What have we missed?”

And I’m Feeling Good……………..

Diets, Life Stressors, , ,

Maybe I should be singing this line? Mmmmm, maybe not as I couldn’t carry a note in a bucket !

Anyway, I am feeling sooooooo good. Took positive steps to do something to lose a bit of weight, had a catch up with a good friend I have not seen in a while and bought a lovely new RED lipstick when I was out shopping with one of my lovely daughters. What more could a girlie (okay middle aged woman) ask for?

Oh, except the ladies at the make-up counter were absolutely brilliant and we had a real hoot while spending some( not too much) money. And, also had a lot of laughs with some lovely people at the slimming club. And, found some common ground with the lady in the coffee shop…………..You getting the picture?

I wanted to have a good day to-day and I DID. It could have gone the other way at several of points throughout the day, but I chose the positive and the calm. I am writing this down as much for my benefit as anyone else. Hopefully the next time my shoulders slump due to the weight of the world pressing down on me I will think of this lovely day and cast the blackness aside.

Choose your mood.

Friend or Foe…..or Just Family?

Life Stressors,

Well, have you all had your quota of loving, family meals and together time for the year? Are you still bathing in the warm glow of tenderness and family feeling? Or, perhaps, like 99% of the rest of us, you embrace the chance of getting back to work and some semblance of normality.

After spending my formative years watching Hollywood’s take on Christmas it’s little wonder I feel like I constantly fall some way short of the saccharine-sweet depiction of the festive season being pumped out of the “Dream-Factory”. And that’s what it is, a dream, a myth! Yet so many of my female friends expend a huge amount of energy trying to create this magical, fantastical image of Christmas.

But here’s the funny part. I don’t see much of either my brother or sister. We all live in different countries and, for many silly reasons, we don’t particularly get on. And yet….if for any reason they needed me, my help, or one of my kidneys, they would have it. They are my family and, as far as I’m concerned, that’s what being family means.

Okay, I accept that we make accommodations at this time of year; we compromise for the greater good with a definite end-time in sight, and that is fine. But to spend time with folk I would not even wish to break breath with at any other time, no! That is a step too far.

If Christmas is a time of “Love” and “Kindness”, then start with loving and being kind to yourself and do it your way.

When you watch all those great, classical, lovey-dovey Christmas movies just keep one thing in mind; they were also great actors!

To Have No Hope At All….Heaven Forbid!

Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, ,

At some point, in all of our lives, we find ourselves hitting a brick wall, feel lonely, lost and without a “safe harbor,” but seriously, until I watched the programme, “Skint”, I really did not know what I was talking about. I know there have been similar ones on before , but some of the people taking part in this one seemed to express their dire situation in terms that really resonated with me.

One young girl is walking through a park, a bottle of cheap drink in her hand, describing how she has no-one in her life to reach out to, no-one to matter to and nowhere to run to for comfort. I understand that there may be a back story to this, to show how she contributed to this desperate situation, but you know what, so what! To bear witness to her story and have no compassion, to listen and yet not head the warning, would be foolish indeed. Because when all is said and done, with enough bad luck in life, her story could be ours one day.

More than the lack of material things, I think the saddest point of it all was to see so many people completely and utterly without hope; not an iota of it. I have gone through some lousy, low and rotten times, but I have always been blessed with folk who cared for me and been able to love and care for them in return. It is this that gives you hope in all of the despair.

So, to all of my incredible friends and family, who support, nurture, laugh with, cry with and generally take great care of me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We All Need Perspective.

Life Stressors, work-life balance, , ,

It’s all about perspective isn’t it. I had been feeling a bit out of sorts all day, tense and stressing about things way outside my control, when I had a call from a good friend.

My friend was bringing me up to date with a fairly big “issue” in their life and it has been an on-going situation for quite some time now, one still without resolution. Suddenly, my own problems melted away, put firmly back where they belong, into the ” Do Not Bother Even With” box.

I am ashamed it took another’s misfortune to make me see this, but I have spent a lot of time on my own this last week and I have become isolated from the lives of those I love and care about. I desperately needed some “Me Time”, some peace and to catch up on sleep. But perhaps I have been greedy. It’s hard to know when you have had too much of a good thing, but maybe when it starts to cause more angst than relief, you have reached your limit.

I am now looking forward to getting back to the everyday stresses of life, with less time for navel-gazing and worrying about the ifs, buts and maybes of life.

As my sadly deceased father-in-law used to say, “If your Granny had a “wotsit” she’d be your Grandad”.

Two Ears, One Mouth; Remember….

Life Stressors,

How many of you talk to someone about your problems/issues of the moment in expectation of them being able to offer an answer or to fix your ills?

I doubt the number answering yes to this is actually that high. I believe what most of us hope for is in fact a listening ear, one without judgement. If you are lucky enough to find this you will often hear the solution yourself; as you express yourself in an atmosphere of honesty and trust you are able to feel and appreciate the alternative views of whatever troubles you.

So, the next time a friend or loved one needs to talk, will you remember this? Or will you, in an effort to show your love and concern, try to fix  them? No-one can fix another, but you can offer a safe place, a place of trust and constancy and , I believe most importantly of all, one without judgement or scorn.

And, before you go offering any potentially life-changing advice ask yourself; “Am I qualified  to know what is best for this person right now?” I know I couldn’t, no matter how much I may want to.

That said,………….. if my girlfriend reaches for the skin-toned leggings to wrap, around her rather chubby, cellulite riddled thighs, do you think I’m going to butt in with my opinion???

You bet I am!!

Finding That Inner Strength

women, ,

I met a really wonderful young woman yesterday through the course of my job and I can’t tell you how much I admire her.

Immediately I found her to be very professional, very on-the-ball and very easy to talk to. After we had dealt with most of the “work” stuff we started to just chat. As we talked about Christmas I discovered she really has had a year from hell, with the loss of one parent in January and the illness of the other now. On top of that she is covering another persons sick-leave in her job, meaning a lot more travelling than usual.

At no point did she have a “poor me” thing going on, though God knows I could have understood if she did. She called it for what it was, ” A Shit Year”, and yes, it had knocked seven bells out of her, but then she went on quickly to talk about the positives; she had recently moved house which meant she now lives opposite her sick parent, how she loves the opportunities the travel in her work has brought her, and her great husband and how much support he has given, ( she met him while volunteering for a support group for a chronic illness, one she has suffered from since the age of nine).

This wonderful woman chose to take a positive perspective wherever she could and accepted the awful things she could not change, no matter how much she may have wanted to. Quite inspirational !

I hope she reads this and I hope I can be more like her. Well done CE.

Back to That Sunday Night Feeling

Life Stressors, The Weekend

Fair enough, I have a busy day tomorrow, but not anything I don’t actually enjoy doing so why oh why do I dread it sooooo much?

And, I have actually achieved quite a lot of the “stuff” I had hoped to so, again, why can’t I get my head space sorted?

If I could answer this one I think I would publish it and retire on the proceeds. That would be a very neat way out…………no more Sunday night feelings! Or maybe not..

Okay all you retired folks; do you still get this, or did it cease the day you handed in your work passes, company cars and fringe benefits??

 

The Promise of a Sunday Morning

The Weekend, work-life balance

I prefer Sunday mornings to any other time of the week. I absolutely love this time; the indulgence of reading the papers with several cups of coffee, making plans for what I am going to accomplish through the rest of the day ( even though I would usually need the ability to bend time in order to achieve everything) or maybe, sometimes, deciding that the most I am going to accomplish is to sit on my backside and watch old movies, the type that used to be called the “Sunday Matinee” when I was a child.

It’s the not having to do anything that counts and I can get really bothered if arrangements are made for Sundays. I feel robbed and, regardless of how wonderful those arrangements turn out to be, I start my working week feeling tired and out of sorts.

And of course at this time of year you have the fire lit, it’s cold and raining outside, and is there a better place to be than warming your toes in front of your own hearth with a full day of suiting yourself ahead??

Okay………..mine isn’t quite as idyllic as that either BUT I generally don’t mind the washing, cleaning and ( to-day) decorating, because I’m not trying to fit it all in around a full-time job as well!

The smell of a fresh pot of coffee is wafting through the house now, Miss Marple is sleuthing away on the TV and the washing machine has just stopped. Oh but the simple pleasures are the best!

 

A Touch of The Good Life

Life Stressors, The Weekend, work-life balance,

I have had the most beautiful experience to-day; a wonderful facial with a neck, shoulder and foot massage. It was heaven on earth and I think the lovely beautician, Hannah, has hands that are a gift from God !

This was a great Christmas present; last Christmas !

I wonder why I have put this off for so long, almost in fact until the gift voucher ran out of date. Why do so many women I know do the same thing? I think part of it, for me anyway, is the knowledge and comfort of having a bit of indulgence just a booking away, with no guilt attached as it is all paid for.  It’s like having an escape route at your finger tips, even if it is only for half a day, or an hour and a half like mine to-day.

The smells and soothing sounds, along with the wonderful Hannah, helped take the wrinkles out of my neck, shoulders, face and, most importantly, my mind. In this indulgent atmosphere I was able to take a more charitable and understanding view of the various happenings during the week. The feeling of peace allowed me to take a step back and look into my life from the outside, offering another perspective of different situations and, potentially, different solutions. This I reckon is the “peace” that so many of my friends, men and women, are searching for. It’s like switching off the white noise in your head.

Some people tell me you can train yourself to find this in your day-to-day life through meditation or “mindfulness”. I don’t know but I suppose I could try……. OR maybe I’ll just bring Hannah home with me!!