Tag Archives: positive thinking

And I’m Feeling Good……………..

Diets, Life Stressors, , ,

Maybe I should be singing this line? Mmmmm, maybe not as I couldn’t carry a note in a bucket !

Anyway, I am feeling sooooooo good. Took positive steps to do something to lose a bit of weight, had a catch up with a good friend I have not seen in a while and bought a lovely new RED lipstick when I was out shopping with one of my lovely daughters. What more could a girlie (okay middle aged woman) ask for?

Oh, except the ladies at the make-up counter were absolutely brilliant and we had a real hoot while spending some( not too much) money. And, also had a lot of laughs with some lovely people at the slimming club. And, found some common ground with the lady in the coffee shop…………..You getting the picture?

I wanted to have a good day to-day and I DID. It could have gone the other way at several of points throughout the day, but I chose the positive and the calm. I am writing this down as much for my benefit as anyone else. Hopefully the next time my shoulders slump due to the weight of the world pressing down on me I will think of this lovely day and cast the blackness aside.

Choose your mood.

It’s a New Year So I Resolve To……………………

Diets, Life Stressors, ,

Mmmmmm, so many options; lose weight, spend more time with my family, spend more time with my friends, spend less money.

The New Year gives us a chance to wipe the slate clean, start afresh and leave the failed resolutions of 2014 far behind. But why deal with life’s challenges in yearly chunks? Why hang on to our “failures” for even a moment longer than we need to process what it is we need to take from them to learn and move on?

I want to wake up each day with a determination to do the best I am capable of for that day; not a week, a fortnight or a month, just that day.

I want to give no energy whatsoever to the toxic, joy-sapping individuals that have occupied too much valuable head-space in the past, but concentrate instead on people and events that lighten my soul and reinforce how truly beautiful life can be. Even writing this down is helping me lose weight; the awful, all-consuming weight of a heavy heart.

See, I’m smiling now.

You Get More with Sugar Than Salt…

Kind Thoughts, Management styles

How many managers/leaders have you worked for who live by the belief that they need to be harsh, begrudging, critical ( hyper-critical even) to maintain order and achieve best results. How many offer little or no positive feedback for fear of ……what exactly??

Well, I was blessed, because I found support, wise counsel and praise in my job; enough to call it a career and to look forward to going to work. But, like all good things, it came to an end and the adjustment and sense of loss has been very hard.

To clarify, this positive effect came down to one person, my now retired manager, and if I thought I was the only one in the business to feel the vacuum since he left I could not have been more mistaken. On Christmas Eve he called in to say hello and wish everyone well for the festive season. It was quite remarkable. Afterwards the number of people talking about how much they miss his appreciation of their efforts, his kindness and his understanding, was very touching.

I really wish more managers could understand that working with their staff, giving encouragement and support when needed and praise when deserved, has the potential to move mountains. I would have gone to the ends of the earth to get the best results for my manager and was more than happy to call him “Boss” because, when all was said and done, the buck did stop with him.

So, to all you folk in positions of authority over others take note; treat people decently and with fairness, and you should be pleasantly surprised with the results.

An Early Morning Dip…( In the Sea!!)

Life Stressors, ,

Okay, so I have always loved being beside the sea, watching the tides come and go, acknowledging its raw power and yet, simultaneously, its ability to soothe and give perspective to life.

So, when I found myself in the privileged position of staying in a cottage right on the edge of the sea, I pledged to fulfill one of my “bucket-list” ambitions, a very early morning skinny dip!

Well of course I had made sure I could not be seen! Really, what do you take me for?? And.. yes, it is December and it would freeze the tatties off you when you are fully clothed, but I had made a promise to myself and there was no going back. Welllll now………………

That’s where the “dream” ends and the bloody nightmare begins! When you see these gorgeous women stride confidently into the waves they are NOT walking on the razor-sharp stones in this bay, so I kept my nice comfy slippers on( sponge filled ones). They are also NOT getting into water so cold it would strip the flesh from your bones! I had intended to walk into about mid-thigh height. Unfortunately as soon as the water hit my knees shock took over. I tried to yell but no sound came out; my legs started to shake and I was jumping around like a maniac. Meanwhile my nice spongy slippers had filled with water and, yes, you guessed, I lost my balance, falling ass over tit and going completely under the waves.

Dear God almighty!! Never have I felt anything like it, so cold it was painful. Even when I got into the hot shower, in an attempt to get feeling back into my legs, the skin prickled and stung.

What a tit! Bollocks to bucket lists! I don’t think they are supposed to kill you.

Mind you, if it hadn’t been me, and it had been caught on film, I think I may have just died laughing.

We All Need Perspective.

Life Stressors, work-life balance, , ,

It’s all about perspective isn’t it. I had been feeling a bit out of sorts all day, tense and stressing about things way outside my control, when I had a call from a good friend.

My friend was bringing me up to date with a fairly big “issue” in their life and it has been an on-going situation for quite some time now, one still without resolution. Suddenly, my own problems melted away, put firmly back where they belong, into the ” Do Not Bother Even With” box.

I am ashamed it took another’s misfortune to make me see this, but I have spent a lot of time on my own this last week and I have become isolated from the lives of those I love and care about. I desperately needed some “Me Time”, some peace and to catch up on sleep. But perhaps I have been greedy. It’s hard to know when you have had too much of a good thing, but maybe when it starts to cause more angst than relief, you have reached your limit.

I am now looking forward to getting back to the everyday stresses of life, with less time for navel-gazing and worrying about the ifs, buts and maybes of life.

As my sadly deceased father-in-law used to say, “If your Granny had a “wotsit” she’d be your Grandad”.

Two Ears, One Mouth; Remember….

Life Stressors,

How many of you talk to someone about your problems/issues of the moment in expectation of them being able to offer an answer or to fix your ills?

I doubt the number answering yes to this is actually that high. I believe what most of us hope for is in fact a listening ear, one without judgement. If you are lucky enough to find this you will often hear the solution yourself; as you express yourself in an atmosphere of honesty and trust you are able to feel and appreciate the alternative views of whatever troubles you.

So, the next time a friend or loved one needs to talk, will you remember this? Or will you, in an effort to show your love and concern, try to fix  them? No-one can fix another, but you can offer a safe place, a place of trust and constancy and , I believe most importantly of all, one without judgement or scorn.

And, before you go offering any potentially life-changing advice ask yourself; “Am I qualified  to know what is best for this person right now?” I know I couldn’t, no matter how much I may want to.

That said,………….. if my girlfriend reaches for the skin-toned leggings to wrap, around her rather chubby, cellulite riddled thighs, do you think I’m going to butt in with my opinion???

You bet I am!!

The Danger of Smoke Screens

women, work-life balance,

If you have read my previous post, ” To Have and Have Not”, you may have noticed the topic was one I feel very, very strongly about.

As far as I can see this constant crying for more and more unreasonable and, for small to medium businesses, crippling demands, actually detracts from the key and all too pervasive problem that still exists to-day of sex discrimination.

Those brave women who fought for sexual equality may as well have held on to their bras. The young women of to-day are allowing themselves to be distracted from the “Big Picture”; allowing themselves to seem ridiculous, spoiled and incapable of holding down positions of responsibility and trust. We are helping the dinosaurs of  industry and business keep us where they reckon we belong, still bare-foot, still pregnant and still in the kitchen ( figuratively speaking).

Oh yes, we are helping pay for those lovely kitchens we now have by working at a level that poses no threat, but don’t look up ladies; don’t aspire to go where “No woman has gone before”( sorry Captain Kirk, I’m stealing/adjusting your best lines). If you dare you will most probably find we have not traveled far down the path of true equality to our male colleagues.

 

Finding That Inner Strength

women, ,

I met a really wonderful young woman yesterday through the course of my job and I can’t tell you how much I admire her.

Immediately I found her to be very professional, very on-the-ball and very easy to talk to. After we had dealt with most of the “work” stuff we started to just chat. As we talked about Christmas I discovered she really has had a year from hell, with the loss of one parent in January and the illness of the other now. On top of that she is covering another persons sick-leave in her job, meaning a lot more travelling than usual.

At no point did she have a “poor me” thing going on, though God knows I could have understood if she did. She called it for what it was, ” A Shit Year”, and yes, it had knocked seven bells out of her, but then she went on quickly to talk about the positives; she had recently moved house which meant she now lives opposite her sick parent, how she loves the opportunities the travel in her work has brought her, and her great husband and how much support he has given, ( she met him while volunteering for a support group for a chronic illness, one she has suffered from since the age of nine).

This wonderful woman chose to take a positive perspective wherever she could and accepted the awful things she could not change, no matter how much she may have wanted to. Quite inspirational !

I hope she reads this and I hope I can be more like her. Well done CE.

A Touch of The Good Life

Life Stressors, The Weekend, work-life balance,

I have had the most beautiful experience to-day; a wonderful facial with a neck, shoulder and foot massage. It was heaven on earth and I think the lovely beautician, Hannah, has hands that are a gift from God !

This was a great Christmas present; last Christmas !

I wonder why I have put this off for so long, almost in fact until the gift voucher ran out of date. Why do so many women I know do the same thing? I think part of it, for me anyway, is the knowledge and comfort of having a bit of indulgence just a booking away, with no guilt attached as it is all paid for.  It’s like having an escape route at your finger tips, even if it is only for half a day, or an hour and a half like mine to-day.

The smells and soothing sounds, along with the wonderful Hannah, helped take the wrinkles out of my neck, shoulders, face and, most importantly, my mind. In this indulgent atmosphere I was able to take a more charitable and understanding view of the various happenings during the week. The feeling of peace allowed me to take a step back and look into my life from the outside, offering another perspective of different situations and, potentially, different solutions. This I reckon is the “peace” that so many of my friends, men and women, are searching for. It’s like switching off the white noise in your head.

Some people tell me you can train yourself to find this in your day-to-day life through meditation or “mindfulness”. I don’t know but I suppose I could try……. OR maybe I’ll just bring Hannah home with me!!

 

Far be it from me to say…….but

The Weekend, work-life balance,

It’s the early hours of Saturday morning and I’m feeling really chilled, the best part of the weekend because it’s all in front of you. Brilliant.

It has been a stinker of a week but, thanks to my fantastic mates ( male and female) I am still in one piece and have not throttled anyone as yet. It’s all good. I am calm, peaceful and at one with the world. I have decided not to stress about work, unfairness, people being idiots (ahh, bless), my kitchen being a shit-hole every time I come home ( he’s baking Christmas puds  ‘cos I’m not quite fat enough yet), the dog rolling in crap when you let her out ( looovvvely)…..you know what I mean, you get the picture. Well, none of that bothers me any more because I have found the path to inner harmony…………………….

Eh, I don’t bloody think so!  No.

At least not all of it. I actually have at last got my head around some of my work related stress and for now that is an incredible relief, it really is, and maybe that’s enough. I can never imagine myself being ” at peace” with the WORLD ( neither could anyone that knows me); there is just too much shit going on out there to find peace with all of it at the same time. But, “A” peace in “any” part of your life is a blessing, and so are those that help you find it!

Thanks guys. Love you.