Category Archives: Life Stressors

It’s That Time Again…

Life Stressors, ,

Okay, so it’s Sunday evening again. So what! I laugh in the face of adversity. Ha ha ha!!

Fair enough, the butterflies are boogieing around my tummy as I write, but I am not giving in to the normal gut-wrenching dread of previous weeks.

Firstly I will take a bit of control; complete my report for my a.m. meeting, put my clothes out for the morning and look over the training material I will be using tomorrow.

And then, I will be nice to me with a lovely, relaxing bath with my new iPod ( full of music my family all hate, brilliant!), and some of the gorgeous goodies I was lucky enough to receive for Christmas.

I am trying so hard to put into practice the ” Choose your mood” part of my earlier blogs. It’s very difficult and this is one of my very big issues(the Sunday night thing), but you know what; whether my mood is good or bad this IS Sunday and I can’t change that. Tomorrow morning I go into work because I need to earn a living, and I can’t change that either.

So, like us all, I have choices. I am choosing to do whatever it is I have to with the best grace, mental attitude and generosity of spirit I can possibly muster.

Well, all things being equal !!

And I’m Feeling Good……………..

Diets, Life Stressors, , ,

Maybe I should be singing this line? Mmmmm, maybe not as I couldn’t carry a note in a bucket !

Anyway, I am feeling sooooooo good. Took positive steps to do something to lose a bit of weight, had a catch up with a good friend I have not seen in a while and bought a lovely new RED lipstick when I was out shopping with one of my lovely daughters. What more could a girlie (okay middle aged woman) ask for?

Oh, except the ladies at the make-up counter were absolutely brilliant and we had a real hoot while spending some( not too much) money. And, also had a lot of laughs with some lovely people at the slimming club. And, found some common ground with the lady in the coffee shop…………..You getting the picture?

I wanted to have a good day to-day and I DID. It could have gone the other way at several of points throughout the day, but I chose the positive and the calm. I am writing this down as much for my benefit as anyone else. Hopefully the next time my shoulders slump due to the weight of the world pressing down on me I will think of this lovely day and cast the blackness aside.

Choose your mood.

It’s a New Year So I Resolve To……………………

Diets, Life Stressors, ,

Mmmmmm, so many options; lose weight, spend more time with my family, spend more time with my friends, spend less money.

The New Year gives us a chance to wipe the slate clean, start afresh and leave the failed resolutions of 2014 far behind. But why deal with life’s challenges in yearly chunks? Why hang on to our “failures” for even a moment longer than we need to process what it is we need to take from them to learn and move on?

I want to wake up each day with a determination to do the best I am capable of for that day; not a week, a fortnight or a month, just that day.

I want to give no energy whatsoever to the toxic, joy-sapping individuals that have occupied too much valuable head-space in the past, but concentrate instead on people and events that lighten my soul and reinforce how truly beautiful life can be. Even writing this down is helping me lose weight; the awful, all-consuming weight of a heavy heart.

See, I’m smiling now.

Friend or Foe…..or Just Family?

Life Stressors,

Well, have you all had your quota of loving, family meals and together time for the year? Are you still bathing in the warm glow of tenderness and family feeling? Or, perhaps, like 99% of the rest of us, you embrace the chance of getting back to work and some semblance of normality.

After spending my formative years watching Hollywood’s take on Christmas it’s little wonder I feel like I constantly fall some way short of the saccharine-sweet depiction of the festive season being pumped out of the “Dream-Factory”. And that’s what it is, a dream, a myth! Yet so many of my female friends expend a huge amount of energy trying to create this magical, fantastical image of Christmas.

But here’s the funny part. I don’t see much of either my brother or sister. We all live in different countries and, for many silly reasons, we don’t particularly get on. And yet….if for any reason they needed me, my help, or one of my kidneys, they would have it. They are my family and, as far as I’m concerned, that’s what being family means.

Okay, I accept that we make accommodations at this time of year; we compromise for the greater good with a definite end-time in sight, and that is fine. But to spend time with folk I would not even wish to break breath with at any other time, no! That is a step too far.

If Christmas is a time of “Love” and “Kindness”, then start with loving and being kind to yourself and do it your way.

When you watch all those great, classical, lovey-dovey Christmas movies just keep one thing in mind; they were also great actors!

Hurry Up and Wait!

harrassment, Life Stressors, ,

I have often wondered how thin the veneer of fellow- feeling ,even ( or sometimes especially) around Christmas is. Well, thanks to a balls-up at the air traffic control center, I had a mixed picture of it; up close and personal.

Amazing how NATS kept highlighting the speed with which they fixed the “glitch” and yet the knock on effect kept spreading, the repercussions being felt by thousands. One family, with young children, and already travelling for 26 hours, were hoping their flight to Montreal would get to take off; another young man going to miss his sisters wedding back in Germany. And so on and so on………..  All remarkably calm and accepting that no-one actually set out to piss us all off.  And certainly I did not witness anyone take their frustrations out on the airline staff; all doing their best to help their customers and work their way through the huge queues.

I had plenty of time to observe those around me and came to a conclusion! The folk that got grumpy and felt hard done by, behaving like the worst kind of diva, will, most probably, behave the very same way in any and every other aspect of their daily life; and so will those that laughed and joked, offered their seats or a helping hand to their fellow sufferers.

You cannot blame circumstance on your bad temper. It is ALWAYS a choice.

Frustration, helplessness; yes. I felt that, and so did most of those I could see , but I had some great conversations, met some lovely people and had some really terrific laughs! I chose that path.  Hmmmm……..here endeth the nice me…………..

My flight was cancelled. Okay, no problem. Long schlep to collect my checked luggage and then verrrrryyy long queue for a taxi to a very expensive hotel for the night. Okay, still no problem.

Woken by the phone belonging to the pillick in the next room who had gone out but left his bloody phone behind, and it rang, and rang and rang! Getting a bit cross at this point!

Then some silly bitches( pished as farts), attending a Christmas party in the expensive hotel, decided to declare their love for one another outside my room door for what seemed like hours and at the top of the voices. Oh happy days!

And just to top it all, the DJ( not sure if they are still called that, but I did manage to find a few new names for him)played Wham’s “Last Christmas” and the entire works of the late, great Michael Jackson until the wee small hours of the morning, with one of the speakers about 10 feet from my room door.

The night manager explained to me the next morning that I was lucky to get that room as they close these down when a party is on!! They only opened these four rooms when they heard about the problems at Heathrow.(to help out and not cash in I’m sure)

Ah, bless………..Now that’s the Christmas spirit for you!!!!!!!!!!

To Have No Hope At All….Heaven Forbid!

Kind Thoughts, Life Stressors, ,

At some point, in all of our lives, we find ourselves hitting a brick wall, feel lonely, lost and without a “safe harbor,” but seriously, until I watched the programme, “Skint”, I really did not know what I was talking about. I know there have been similar ones on before , but some of the people taking part in this one seemed to express their dire situation in terms that really resonated with me.

One young girl is walking through a park, a bottle of cheap drink in her hand, describing how she has no-one in her life to reach out to, no-one to matter to and nowhere to run to for comfort. I understand that there may be a back story to this, to show how she contributed to this desperate situation, but you know what, so what! To bear witness to her story and have no compassion, to listen and yet not head the warning, would be foolish indeed. Because when all is said and done, with enough bad luck in life, her story could be ours one day.

More than the lack of material things, I think the saddest point of it all was to see so many people completely and utterly without hope; not an iota of it. I have gone through some lousy, low and rotten times, but I have always been blessed with folk who cared for me and been able to love and care for them in return. It is this that gives you hope in all of the despair.

So, to all of my incredible friends and family, who support, nurture, laugh with, cry with and generally take great care of me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

An Early Morning Dip…( In the Sea!!)

Life Stressors, ,

Okay, so I have always loved being beside the sea, watching the tides come and go, acknowledging its raw power and yet, simultaneously, its ability to soothe and give perspective to life.

So, when I found myself in the privileged position of staying in a cottage right on the edge of the sea, I pledged to fulfill one of my “bucket-list” ambitions, a very early morning skinny dip!

Well of course I had made sure I could not be seen! Really, what do you take me for?? And.. yes, it is December and it would freeze the tatties off you when you are fully clothed, but I had made a promise to myself and there was no going back. Welllll now………………

That’s where the “dream” ends and the bloody nightmare begins! When you see these gorgeous women stride confidently into the waves they are NOT walking on the razor-sharp stones in this bay, so I kept my nice comfy slippers on( sponge filled ones). They are also NOT getting into water so cold it would strip the flesh from your bones! I had intended to walk into about mid-thigh height. Unfortunately as soon as the water hit my knees shock took over. I tried to yell but no sound came out; my legs started to shake and I was jumping around like a maniac. Meanwhile my nice spongy slippers had filled with water and, yes, you guessed, I lost my balance, falling ass over tit and going completely under the waves.

Dear God almighty!! Never have I felt anything like it, so cold it was painful. Even when I got into the hot shower, in an attempt to get feeling back into my legs, the skin prickled and stung.

What a tit! Bollocks to bucket lists! I don’t think they are supposed to kill you.

Mind you, if it hadn’t been me, and it had been caught on film, I think I may have just died laughing.

We All Need Perspective.

Life Stressors, work-life balance, , ,

It’s all about perspective isn’t it. I had been feeling a bit out of sorts all day, tense and stressing about things way outside my control, when I had a call from a good friend.

My friend was bringing me up to date with a fairly big “issue” in their life and it has been an on-going situation for quite some time now, one still without resolution. Suddenly, my own problems melted away, put firmly back where they belong, into the ” Do Not Bother Even With” box.

I am ashamed it took another’s misfortune to make me see this, but I have spent a lot of time on my own this last week and I have become isolated from the lives of those I love and care about. I desperately needed some “Me Time”, some peace and to catch up on sleep. But perhaps I have been greedy. It’s hard to know when you have had too much of a good thing, but maybe when it starts to cause more angst than relief, you have reached your limit.

I am now looking forward to getting back to the everyday stresses of life, with less time for navel-gazing and worrying about the ifs, buts and maybes of life.

As my sadly deceased father-in-law used to say, “If your Granny had a “wotsit” she’d be your Grandad”.

Two Ears, One Mouth; Remember….

Life Stressors,

How many of you talk to someone about your problems/issues of the moment in expectation of them being able to offer an answer or to fix your ills?

I doubt the number answering yes to this is actually that high. I believe what most of us hope for is in fact a listening ear, one without judgement. If you are lucky enough to find this you will often hear the solution yourself; as you express yourself in an atmosphere of honesty and trust you are able to feel and appreciate the alternative views of whatever troubles you.

So, the next time a friend or loved one needs to talk, will you remember this? Or will you, in an effort to show your love and concern, try to fix  them? No-one can fix another, but you can offer a safe place, a place of trust and constancy and , I believe most importantly of all, one without judgement or scorn.

And, before you go offering any potentially life-changing advice ask yourself; “Am I qualified  to know what is best for this person right now?” I know I couldn’t, no matter how much I may want to.

That said,………….. if my girlfriend reaches for the skin-toned leggings to wrap, around her rather chubby, cellulite riddled thighs, do you think I’m going to butt in with my opinion???

You bet I am!!

To Have and Have Not !

Life Stressors, women, work-life balance

I was watching breakfast TV the other morning and two people were reviewing the days papers. One of them, a young and very successful businesswoman, was discussing an upcoming seminar/forum on how women can ” Have it All”. She went on to explain this referred to having a career and children and the “Right” to have both. ….. I’m taking deep breaths here….

What a Pile Of Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sick to my back teeth of this utter shit being peddled to young women and girls. When will folk get tired of selling this nonsense. What are we doing but setting these women up for huge disappointments.

It’s NOT about “Right.”

It IS about choice; choosing which will come first ( and I’m not talking timing here but priorities). It’s about compromise, huge compromise; wondering if you doing any of it passably well. It’s about guilt in bucket loads.

The bit that saddens me most about this though is why we have a ” I want it ALL” society. No-one, man or woman, should or can have it all. It’s a myth.

If you are very fortunate you will get what you work hard for. It is a blessing, not an entitlement.